How to Move Forward When Snapping Feels Like a Scar 

Parenting Perspective 

Your Response Moving Forward Is What Matters 

It is natural to feel guilt when reflecting on times you lost patience, especially when exhaustion weighs heavily on you. These moments can feel like scars, but they do not have to define your relationship with your children or your identity as a parent. What matters most is how you respond moving forward. 

Acknowledge the Reality of Your Tiredness 

First, allow yourself to acknowledge the reality of your tiredness and its impact. You are human, and parenting under fatigue can lead to lapses in patience. Instead of fighting these feelings or trying to suppress them, recognise them as signals to adjust your self-care and parenting approach. 

Shift Your Focus From Regret to Repair 

When you notice the guilt creeping in, try to shift your focus to repair rather than regret. This means taking intentional steps to rebuild connection after a difficult moment. Apologise sincerely to your children in an age-appropriate way, explaining that sometimes adults feel overwhelmed but their love for them remains constant. This models accountability and teaches emotional resilience. 

Create New, Positive Experiences 

You can also create new positive experiences that gradually overshadow the painful memories. Small, consistent acts of kindness and presence,such as listening closely to their stories or sharing calm moments,help rebuild trust and warmth. 

Make Practical Changes and Be Merciful to Yourself 

Practical changes to reduce future exhaustion can support this process. Prioritise rest when possible and seek support from family, friends, or community. When your energy is replenished, your capacity for patience and compassion naturally grows. Remember, healing is gradual. Treat yourself with the same mercy you would extend to others in difficulty. Your love and intention are powerful forces for connection and growth despite past struggles. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Despair of the Mercy of Allah 

Allah Almighty emphasises mercy and forgiveness, both from Him and that which we must practise within family relationships. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 53: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.’  

This verse reminds you that no matter the mistakes or moments of weakness, Allah’s mercy is vast and available. Your sincere efforts to improve and seek forgiveness are meaningful in His sight. 

The Best of Sinners Are Those Who Repent 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih, Book 9, Hadith 114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who are given to repentance.’  

This teaching encourages parents to embrace the process of recognising errors, repenting, and striving to do better without despair. Your desire to repair and grow is a sign of spiritual strength, not failure. 

By integrating these divine reminders with practical steps, you protect your bond with your children and nurture your own heart. Moments of snapping do not have to remain scars; they can become opportunities for teaching forgiveness and love in action.