How to Model Polite Body Language in Family Conversations 

Parenting Perspective 

Children learn as much from what they see as from what they are told. During family conversations, your posture, tone of voice, and facial expressions send powerful signals about respect and attentiveness. By consistently modelling polite body language, you are more likely to see your children adopt these same habits in their own interactions. 

Show Attentive Presence 

When others are speaking, make sure you maintain eye contact, nod gently, and put away any distractions such as your phone. This communicates that you value what is being said and teaches your child to listen with focus and respect. 

Keep Your Tone and Gestures Calm 

Speak with an open expression, keep your hands relaxed, and avoid aggressive gestures like pointing. Your gestures should communicate warmth, not tension. This helps children understand that politeness includes not only the words you use but also how they are delivered. 

Reinforce Positive Examples 

When your child notices you listening with patience or sitting upright during a discussion, take the opportunity to explain why you do it. You can say, “This shows I respect the person who is speaking.” Linking the action to its meaning helps them internalise the lesson. 

By modelling polite body language, you create an atmosphere of respect within your home and show your children that courtesy is a way of life, not just something you talk about. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings provide clear guidance on the importance of respectful communication, which encompasses both our words and our physical demeanour. 

Guidance from the noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 2: 

‘O you who are believers, do not raise your voices above the voice of Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); or be vociferous in your speech like the way you are coarse with each other; in which case your good deeds shall be sequestrated; and you remain unaware (of the extent of the sanctity of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ).’ 

This verse reminds us that respect in communication is expressed not only through our words but also through our tone and overall demeanour. 

Teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1920, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy on our young, nor honour our elders.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that our body language such as a gentle presence with the young and attentive respect for our elders is a powerful form of mercy and honour. 

When you demonstrate polite body language in family conversations, you are practising the Islamic values of humility and respect. Your child learns that good character shines through their posture, tone, and expression, which helps to shape them into individuals who treat others with dignity both within the home and in society.