How to Model Patience When You Are Struggling With It 

Parenting Perspective 

Model Patience Through Repair, Not Perfection 

It is natural to feel torn between wanting to model patience for your children and being honest about your own limits. Children do not need to see a perfect parent who never struggles; rather, they benefit from seeing a parent who acknowledges their challenges but chooses to handle them with care. Modelling patience is not about never losing it, but about how you pause, repair, and reset when you do. 

Narrate Your Effort to Be Patient 

One practical way is to narrate your effort to your children. For example, you might say, ‘I am feeling very tired right now, so I need a moment to calm myself before I speak.’ This communicates two things: that you are human and experience limits, and that patience is an active choice, not an automatic state. It also reassures them that your silence or pause is not rejection, but self-regulation. 

Repairing the Moment Is a Powerful Lesson 

When you do lose patience, repairing the moment is just as powerful as maintaining it. Apologising sincerely, without guilt or shame, teaches your children that strength lies not in never faltering, but in recognising when you have and choosing kindness again. Over time, they will understand that patience is a skill, and that even adults must work on it. 

Make Patience a Shared Family Practice 

You can also involve your children in small patience-building exercises, like waiting their turn in conversation, or slowing down together before meals. By making patience a shared family practice, you show them that it is not a burden placed only on the parent, but a value everyone nurtures. 

Spiritual Insight 

Seek Help Through Patience and Prayer 

Patience is central to faith, and Islam honours the effort of striving for it, even when it feels difficult. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 153: 

‘O those of you who are believers, seek assistance (from Allah Almighty) through resilience and prayer, indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those that are resilient.’  

This Verse reminds us that patience is not merely a personal trait but a source of divine companionship. By striving for patience, even when it feels hard, you are drawing closer to Allah Almighty and showing your children that strength comes from Him. 

Patience Is the Greatest Blessing 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 24, Hadith 71, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.’  

This hadith teaches that patience is not about suppressing emotions, but about turning to Allah Almighty for help in managing them. When your children see you making that effort, even through struggle, they witness that patience is not perfection, but perseverance supported by faith. 

In this way, your honesty about your limits does not weaken the lesson. Instead, it deepens it, showing your children that patience is a strength rooted in humility, reliance on Allah Almighty, and the willingness to keep trying.