How to Model Gratitude When Your Child Copies Your Complaints 

Parenting Perspective 

Imitation Is an Opportunity for Growth 

Children are very perceptive. They not only hear what you say but also absorb the tone, expressions, and reactions you display in daily life. When your son copies your sighs or complaints, it is not disobedience, but imitation—his way of learning how to respond to challenges. This awareness is an opportunity for growth rather than a failure. 

Create a Pause and Replace the Habit 

A practical step is to create a pause before you express frustration. Instead of letting out a sigh or complaint, practise replacing it with a simple phrase of patience, such as ‘Alhamdulillah, it is difficult, but I can handle it.’ At first, this may feel forced, but with repetition it becomes natural. Your child will then begin to copy these words of gratitude instead of expressions of stress. 

Narrate Your Feelings in a Balanced Way 

You can also narrate your feelings in a balanced way. For example, say, ‘I feel tired right now, but I know it will pass, and I am thankful for what I have.’ This shows your child that it is normal to feel overwhelmed, but the way you respond can be rooted in hope and thankfulness. Involving your child in small acts of gratitude, such as sharing one thing you are thankful for at the end of the day, helps to reinforce this mindset in both of you. 

Give Yourself Compassion 

Importantly, give yourself compassion. Children do not need perfect parents; they need parents who are trying sincerely. By showing your son that you can acknowledge a difficult feeling and then turn to gratitude, you are teaching him resilience and trust in Allah in the most practical way. 

Spiritual Insight 

Gratitude Is a Pathway to Growth 

Islam teaches that human beings will face moments of weariness and complaint, but it also provides the tools to redirect those emotions into remembrance and gratitude. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verse 7: 

‘And (remember) when your Sustainer made this declaration; (saying that): “If you show gratitude, I (Allah Almighty) will indeed, amplify them for you (provisions and sustenance); however, if you become ungrateful, then indeed, My punishment is Meticulous (in execution)”.’  

This Verse reminds us that gratitude is not only a moral quality but also a means for Allah to increase blessings. Modelling this before your child shows him that gratitude is a pathway to growth, even in hardship. 

Gratitude and Patience Are Guiding Responses 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Book 55, Hadith 82, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Wondrous is the affair of the believer, for there is good for him in every matter. If he experiences ease, he is grateful and that is good for him; and if he experiences hardship, he is patient and that is good for him.’  

This hadith gives clarity that both gratitude and patience are essential responses to life’s ups and downs. When you demonstrate this balance, even in small ways, you show your child that trust in Allah does not mean never feeling tired but choosing gratitude and patience as the guiding response. 

By practising these small shifts, you will gradually model a spirit of Shukr and Tawakkul. In time, your son will not only copy your words but also learn that even in difficulty, a believer’s heart finds peace in gratitude and reliance on Allah.