How to Model Emotional Respect When You’re Dismissed 

Parenting Perspective 

You Are Asking to Be Taken Seriously 

Feeling dismissed, especially in the middle of an emotional moment, can leave a deep sting. When someone labels your response as ‘too much’ or ‘overreacting,’ it not only invalidates the emotion, it also erases the story behind it. You are not asking for dramatic attention; you are asking to be taken seriously, as a feeling human being. That is entirely reasonable, and your children are watching how you handle that. 

Express Yourself Clearly and Reclaim Your Space 

Modelling emotional respect does not mean suppressing how you feel. It means learning how to express your emotions clearly, without abandoning yourself or shaming others. If you have been made to feel small in front of your children , especially by a partner or relative , you can gently reclaim that space with grounded honesty. For example, saying, ‘I do not feel heard when I am spoken to like that, and I would like to continue this conversation when we can both speak calmly,’ teaches your children that you value emotional safety without creating a scene. 

Model Dignity Under Pressure 

Children learn emotional respect not from perfection, but from watching how adults handle difficulty. When they see that their parent does not collapse under dismissal , and also does not lash out , they begin to understand what dignity under pressure looks like. 

Teach Emotional Literacy After the Moment 

Later, in private, it is important to name what happened in a language your child can understand. ‘Earlier, I felt upset because someone said I was overreacting. It is okay to feel big emotions, what matters is how we speak about them.’ You are teaching emotional literacy not by denying emotion, but by guiding it. 

Stand in Your Own Self-Respect 

At the same time, try to check in with yourself: are you giving space to your own emotions before waiting for others to validate them? If someone else’s words carry too much weight, it may be because your own inner voice has gone quiet. When you re-centre yourself gently, you are no longer waiting to be respected, you are already standing in self-respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Emotional Intelligence Is a Prophetic Trait 

Islam deeply honours emotional intelligence. Dignity, composure, and empathy are not only good traits, but they are also prophetic traits. When your feelings are dismissed, it can feel like your presence is being reduced. But the teachings of Islam remind us that to feel is part of being human, and to respond with gentleness is part of being Muslim. 

Respond to Harshness With Words of Peace 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’  

This Verse is not telling you to remain silent in the face of harm. It shows you how to hold on to your self-worth without resorting to the same dismissal that hurt you. Saying words of peace can mean walking away, setting a boundary, or choosing a calm tone, not because you are weak, but because you are principled. 

True Strength Is Self-Control, Not Winning Arguments 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ embodied emotional balance. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Book 45, Hadith 140, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overpowers others in wrestling. Rather, the strong one is the one who controls himself when he is angry.’ 

This Hadith reframes strength. It is not about who wins the emotional argument. It is about who remains anchored in value and self-control. That is the kind of strength your children need to witness, not silence, and not fury, but calm clarity. 

So, when your emotions are dismissed, and you feel small, return to this: your dignity is not defined by how others speak to you, but by how you choose to respond. Your children do not need a perfect parent. They need one who models emotional integrity. That is what they will carry forward, and that is within your reach.