How to Make Your Quiet Child Feel Seen 

Parenting Perspective 

Ensure Each Child Feels Equally Seen 

This is a deeply thoughtful question, and it reflects your awareness of the different ways your children express their emotional needs. It is common for one child to be more expressive and another to be more inward. While the louder child naturally draws your attention, the quieter one may need you to notice them without being asked. This is not about giving both children the same kind of attention, but ensuring each one feels equally seen, valued, and safe. 

Look for Silent Invitations for Connection 

Begin by observing your quieter child in their natural moments, during play, meals, or routines. Look for small cues: a glance, a sigh, a hesitation. These are often silent invitations for connection. Try to meet them there without making them feel scrutinised. You might gently sit beside them and say something simple like, ‘I really enjoy being near you,’ or ask a low-pressure question like, ‘What was your favourite part of today?’ The goal is to show that attention is not earned only through noise; it is given because of love. 

Find Time to Be Alone With Each Child 

It is also helpful to find time to be alone with each child, even if only for a few minutes a day. This one-to-one space allows the quieter child to relax and open up without needing to compete. During that time, listen more than you speak, and avoid using it as a teaching or correcting moment. Just be present. 

Help the Expressive Child Make Room for Others 

At the same time, help your expressive child understand that they do not need to dominate every space. You are not silencing them; you are helping them grow in empathy by sometimes pausing and making room for others to speak. 

Quality of Attunement, Not Quantity of Attention 

The most lasting impact will come not from the quantity of attention, but from the quality of your attunement. When each child feels that their emotional rhythm is respected, they are less likely to feel invisible, even when they are quiet. 

Spiritual Insight 

Responding to Individual Needs Is a Trust 

Islamically, recognising and responding to individual needs is part of Amanah. Children are not given to us as blank copies, but as distinct souls, each with a temperament and way of being that deserves recognition. 

Gentle Communication Reaches the Heart 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 44: 

‘But speak to him (Pharaoh) in a polite manner, so that he may realise, or be in awe (of what you are relating to him).’ 

This Verse refers to the instruction given to Prophet Musa (peace be upon him) when he was sent to speak to Pharaoh, someone who had committed great wrongdoing. Yet the command was to approach him gently. The deeper principle here is that gentle, attuned communication is more likely to reach the heart, especially a hesitant or withdrawn one. 

Do Not Overlook the Quiet Child 

It is also recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih, Book 18, Hadith 25, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.’  

This hadith reminds us that parental attention is a form of responsibility, and that we must not overlook the child who stays quiet, trusting that we will notice them without having to ask. 

By offering intentional presence to both children, not evenly, but appropriately, you reflect the balance of mercy and justice that Islam upholds. In doing so, you nurture a sense of security that reaches even the silent heart.