How to Make Your Care Feel Like Love, Not Just Duty 

Parenting Perspective 

Infuse Your Routines With Warmth 

It is very common for children to associate one parent with fun and the other with responsibility. This can leave a mother feeling unseen when her daily care feels routine, while her spouse’s play feels memorable to the children. The key is not to compete with your husband’s style, but to infuse your own routines with warmth and signals of love. 

Make Small Shifts Within Care Moments 

You can start by making small shifts within the care moments you already do. While feeding, look into your child’s eyes, use their name, and smile. During bedtime, add a gentle dua or short story that creates closeness. When cleaning up, bring in laughter or a small game, such as racing to tidy together. These small touches help children connect care with affection, rather than seeing it only as obligation. 

Put Words to Your Actions 

It also helps to name your love in words. For example, while brushing teeth, you might say, ‘I am helping you stay healthy because I love you.’ Children do not always make the link between acts of service and emotional intent, so putting words to your actions strengthens the connection. 

Balance Roles by Sharing Care and Fun 

You might also balance roles where possible by joining in brief moments of play, even if for five minutes, and inviting your husband to sometimes take part in bedtime or meals. This way your children see both parents present in care and in fun. What they remember most is not who did which task, but how consistently they felt valued and safe. 

Make Your Love Felt 

Your daily care already communicates deep love, but by adding warmth, words, and shared moments, you make sure your children feel that love in their hearts as well as their needs being met. 

Spiritual Insight 

Your Daily Care Is a Form of Worship 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Insaan (76), Verse 9: 

‘Indeed, (they say in their hearts): “We are only feeding you for the sake of Allah (Almighty); we do not seek from you any reward or any gratitude”.’  

This Verse reminds us that acts of service, even when unnoticed, carry immense value with Allah. In parenting, every meal prepared, every bedtime routine, and every moment of care is a form of quiet worship, whether or not others recognise it. Your children may not yet see the depth of your effort, but Allah does, and your care is a reflection of love both for them and for Allah’s trust. 

Your Daily Tasks Are Among the Most Beneficial Acts 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2699, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever makes it easy for one who is in hardship, Allah will make it easy for him in this world and in the Hereafter.’ 

A mother’s daily tasks, though repetitive, are counted among the most beneficial acts. 

By framing your care as both love for your children and service to Allah, you strengthen your intention and lighten your heart. When you add small gestures of warmth to your routines, your children will gradually come to understand that love is not only in play, but also in the steady hands that serve them each day.