How to Live in a Way That Does Not Make You a Walking Contradiction 

Parenting Perspective 

Although children are attentive to our words, they are more inclined to accept what they observe. The message becomes unclear when a parent quietly puts their own passions while encouraging their child to pursue theirs. A child may begin to question whether dreaming is a phase that one outgrows or, worse yet, a phase that one abandons once real life commences, despite the best intentions. 

It is not hypocritical to have neglected your own aspirations. In reality, that decision may have been motivated by affection, necessity, or accountability. However, if it has left you feeling depleted, it is not too late to begin a new chapter. Begin by obtaining permission to be more than one thing. It is possible to be a dedicated parent and still possess a sense of ambition, creativity, or purpose that is uniquely your own. 

Take One Manageable Step 

Take a single, manageable step towards a goal that is significant to you. Allow your child to observe the process: the risk, the learning, and the effort. Demonstrate the process of starting over or resuming an activity. You do not merely avoid contradiction when you demonstrate your resilience and self-worth through your subsequent efforts; rather, you provide them with a genuine, real-world example. 

Dream Aloud 

Dreaming aloud, even if imperfectly, enables your child to comprehend that their visions are not childish, but rather profoundly human. It also enables them to perceive you as a complete individual, rather than merely a guide, but as a fellow traveler. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamically, our time on earth is not passive. We are created with intention, and we are honoured with agency. This includes the ability to strive, to pursue meaningful goals that serve the soul and society. That striving is not limited to youth. It is not cancelled by parenting. It is an act of gratitude, and sometimes, an act of worship. 

A Reminder of a Balanced Life 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), verses 7–8: 

‘Thus when you have finished (from ritual prayer) then (further) intensify (your supplication). And (We know that) to your Lord is your yearning.’ 

This Verse captures the rhythm of a balanced life: fulfil responsibilities, then turn toward your own spiritual and personal goals. It does not ask us to abandon one for the other. It calls us to move between them with intention. 

The Prophetic Model: The Importance of Intention 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are judged by intentions, and every person will get the reward according to what they intended. ‘

[Sahih al-Bukhari, 1:1] 

This hadith affirms that what you begin today, however modest, is spiritually recognised. Your effort to live honestly and purposefully is part of your legacy, and your child’s inheritance. 

You do not need to be finished with your dream to be faithful to it. You only need to show your child, and yourself, that growth is not a contradiction to parenting, it is a form of it.