How to Keep Calm Without Suppressing Your Feelings 

Parenting Perspective 

Protect Your Wellbeing and Their Safety 

It is very common for a parent to feel pushed beyond their limits when the demands of the day build up, and in that state, even a minor argument between children can feel overwhelming. Losing patience does not mean you are failing; it simply shows that your emotional reserves are depleted. The goal is not to silence yourself or bottle everything inside, but to find ways of responding that protect both your wellbeing and your children’s sense of safety. 

Pause Before Reacting 

One helpful step is to pause before reacting. When you feel your body tightening or your voice rising, give yourself permission to take a brief break, even if that means stepping into another room for a moment. This does not signal weakness; it models for your children how to handle big emotions without hurting others. You can then return to the situation with a calmer tone, which often defuses the conflict more effectively. 

Pre-Plan for High-Stress Moments 

You can also pre-plan for these moments. For example, if you know sibling arguments often flare up at certain times, decide in advance on a consistent approach: whether that is guiding them to separate spaces, giving them a simple task to redirect their energy, or using calm but firm words to remind them of family boundaries. Having a prepared response means you do not rely only on willpower when you are already drained. 

Express Emotion in Measured Ways 

Importantly, allow yourself to express emotion in measured ways. Children benefit from seeing that parents can feel frustrated without losing control. Saying something like, ‘I am very tired right now, so I need us all to speak more gently,’ shows them that emotions are real but can be communicated respectfully. This balance keeps you from suppressing yourself while also keeping the home environment steady and secure. 

Spiritual Insight 

Control of Anger Is Essential 

In Islam, it is not commendable to express anger as it could take destructive forms. The control of one on such feelings is essential. 

Channel Feelings to Reflect Self-Discipline 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’  

This Verse reminds us that the act of controlling anger is not about denying feelings but about channeling them in a way that reflects self-discipline and goodness. It acknowledges that frustration will arise but elevates the parent who holds it with restraint. 

True Strength Is Mastering Your Reactions 

It is recorded in Riyadh as-Salihin, Hadith 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is the one who controls himself in a fit of rage.’  

This hadith redefines strength as the ability to master one’s reactions, especially in testing moments like parenting. When you choose calm responses over harshness, you are not suppressing yourself but exercising true strength in line with prophetic guidance. 

By pacing yourself, setting boundaries, and remembering the value Allah places on restraint, you can create moments of calm even when drained. This protects your children emotionally while giving you dignity and balance in your role as a parent.