How to Help Your Children Feel Secure When They Have Two Homes 

Parenting Perspective 

A Search for Emotional Security 

When children experience living in two homes, it can create confusion about where they truly belong. Their question about a ‘real’ home is not just about physical space but about emotional security. What they are really asking is: ‘Where am I safe? Where do I matter?’ 

Affirm That Both Homes Are Theirs 

A helpful step is to affirm to your children that both homes are theirs. You might say, ‘You have two homes now, and both are real because you are loved in both places.’ This reframing shifts the focus from choosing one to accepting both as part of their world. 

Consistency Is Key 

Consistency is also key. Even though circumstances differ, try to keep familiar routines, such as reading a bedtime story, praying together, or having a regular family meal. Small, predictable anchors help children feel settled and remind them that the essence of ‘home’ is the care and presence of family. 

Create a Sense of Ownership 

It can also help to create a sense of ownership in both spaces. Allow them to decorate their rooms, keep personal items in each house, and choose small comforts that travel back and forth. This signals to them that they are not visitors but belong fully in both homes. 

Love and Family Are Not Divided 

Above all, reassure them through your words and actions that love and family are not divided by two addresses. What matters most is that both homes hold them with respect, stability, and care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Real Security Comes From Allah 

Islam teaches us that real security does not come from walls or buildings but from belonging to Allah’s care and mercy. 

Homes Are a Resting Place 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An-Nahl (16), Verse 80: 

‘…And Allah (Almighty) has designated for you, a resting place within your homes…’  

This Verse reminds us that homes are meant to be places of comfort, and that sense of rest can exist wherever there is love, care, and remembrance of Allah. 

Consistent Love Creates Stability 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are consistent, even if small.’  

Applied here, it is not the size of the home or whether there is one or two, but the consistent love, kindness, and nurturing within them that creates true stability. 

By affirming to your children that both homes are real and safe, while also anchoring them in faith that true peace comes from Allah, you help them see that they are not losing one home but gaining two places where they are loved. Over time, this will ease their uncertainty and allow them to feel whole across both spaces.