How to Help Siblings Respect Each Other’s Differences 

Parenting Perspective 

Help Them Understand, Not Change, Each Other 

When siblings have very different temperaments, conflict can quickly lead to misunderstandings. One child may interpret tears as exaggeration, while the other interprets toughness as coldness. Your role is not to change their personalities, but to help each child understand and respect the way the other experiences the world. 

Teach That All Emotions Are Valid 

Start by teaching them that emotions are valid, even if they are expressed differently. When your daughter cries, acknowledge her feelings without labelling them as weakness. When your son brushes things off, acknowledge that he deals with challenges in his own way. By naming both styles positively, you show that neither is ‘wrong.’ 

Focus on Impact, Not Intention 

In moments of conflict, guide them to focus on impact rather than intention. You can say, ‘Even if you did not mean to hurt her, your words made her feel upset,’ or ‘Even if your brother looks fine, he still deserves respect in how you speak to him.’ This helps them separate personal expressions from the responsibility to treat each other kindly. 

Create Family Rules Around Communication 

It is also helpful to create family rules around communication. For example, no mocking when someone cries, and no dismissing when someone stays quiet. These boundaries make both children feel safer in expressing themselves. At the same time, encourage each to practice small steps of empathy: your daughter learning that her brother may not show emotion outwardly, and your son learning that gentleness matters when someone is more sensitive. 

Honour Differences, Do Not Erase Them 

By consistently modelling and reinforcing respect, you teach them that family is about honouring differences, not erasing them. Over time, they will carry this understanding into their relationships outside the home. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Ridicule or Belittle Others 

Islam teaches that every human being is honoured, regardless of temperament or emotional expression. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them; and let not the women (ridicule) other women, as perhaps they may be better than them; and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames...’  

This Verse directly warns against belittling others. When applied to siblings, it means that mocking tears or dismissing another’s sensitivity is not acceptable. Each person may have qualities unseen to others, and only Allah knows who is higher in His sight. 

Protect Each Other’s Dignity 

It is recorded in Riyadh as-Salihin, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not oppress him, nor does he fail him, nor does he lie to him, nor does he hold him in contempt.’  

This Hadith highlights that respect and protection of one another’s dignity are essential. For siblings, this translates into showing kindness even when they do not fully understand each other’s ways. 

By guiding your children to uphold respect, you help them see that sensitivity and toughness are both part of Allah’s design. Each has strengths, and both deserve dignity. This approach reassures your daughter that her feelings matter and teaches your son that his strength must never come at the expense of compassion.