Parenting Perspective 

Siblings often learn to say ‘sorry’ as a quick way to end an argument, but the real lesson in reconciliation lies in showing repair through actions. When children understand that making amends is about more than just words, they begin to build stronger bonds and a deeper capacity for empathy. 

Explain That Actions Demonstrate Care 

Teach your children that while words are important for opening the door to reconciliation, it is our actions that keep that door open and make the relationship strong. For example, you could say, “Saying you are sorry is a good start, but helping your sister to rebuild the blocks you knocked down shows that you really mean it.” 

Encourage Practical, Restorative Steps 

Guide your children to think of something kind they can do for one another after a disagreement. This could be sharing a toy, drawing a picture for their sibling, or helping them with a small chore. These simple, positive acts help to transform an apology from a mere word into a visible act of repair. 

Create a Family Rule Around Repair 

You can introduce a simple and clear principle for your family to live by. For instance, “In our home, when we hurt someone, we first say we are sorry, and then we do something to help make it better.” When this is repeated consistently, it becomes a natural and ingrained habit for everyone. 

Model the Principle in Your Own Apologies 

Children learn most effectively when they see their parents living by the principles they teach. When you apologise for a mistake, try to pair it with a restorative action. For example, “I am sorry that I was late. Let us spend some extra time together now to make up for it.” 

Through consistent practice and guidance, siblings will begin to see that the act of repair is about restoring connection, not just about clearing their own feelings of guilt. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that when harm has been caused, both a verbal apology and a positive action are often needed to truly make amends. Just as sincere repentance to Allah Almighty involves following our mistakes with righteous deeds, apologies between people are completed and proven through our efforts to heal and restore the relationship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Huud (11), Verses 114: 

‘And establish your prayers at both ends of the day (start and finish), and in the early parts of the night; indeed, good deeds diminish evil deeds, these are the realisations for those who wish to realise.’ 

This verse reminds us that our mistakes can be wiped out not only by words of regret but, more powerfully, by following them with deliberate actions of goodness. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave similar advice. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 61, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah wherever you are and follow up a bad deed with a good one which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.’ 

This teaches us that the act of repairing harm through positive action is a practical demonstration of our faith and good character. When siblings learn that Islam values not just saying sorry but also making things right, they understand that true sincerity is proven in their deeds. This gives their apologies real weight, deepens their capacity for empathy, and strengthens their relationships in a way that words alone cannot.