How to Help Siblings Admire, Not Annoy, Each Other 

Parenting Perspective 

Imitation Can Feel Like Intrusion 

It is very natural for younger siblings to copy their eldest brother or sister. For them, imitation is admiration, and it is also how they learn new behaviours. For the eldest, however, this constant attention can feel suffocating, as though they are not allowed to be their own person. For the younger, the desire to copy is not meant to irritate, but to feel connected and important. 

Acknowledge the Elder’s Frustration 

You can help by guiding both sides. First, acknowledge the elder’s frustration without shaming it. For example, say, ‘I see it bothers you when your brother copies you. Let us find ways to give you some space.’ This validates their need for independence. At the same time, gently explain to the younger, ‘Your sister copies you because she looks up to you, but we also need to respect her space.’ By framing it this way, you reduce tension without making either child feel wrong about their feelings. 

Create Boundaries and ‘No Copy’ Zones 

It is also practical to create boundaries. Give the elder some private time, such as when they are doing homework or a personal activity, and explain to the younger that this is a ‘no copy’ zone. Balance this with planned opportunities for positive imitation, such as reading together or helping with chores, where the elder is praised for being a role model. This way, the elder sees copying as leadership, not just irritation. 

Highlight the Individuality of Both Children 

Finally, highlight the individuality of both children. Praise the younger for their own unique efforts and remind the elder that being looked up to is a sign of trust. When both feel recognised in their own identities, admiration feels less suffocating and leadership less burdensome. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guidance Should Be Done With Gentleness 

Islam teaches us to guide those younger than us with mercy and patience, and to respect those older with gratitude. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Israa (17), Verse 24: 

‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy; (and plead for them and) say: “O my Sustainer, have mercy (and forgiveness) on both of them, because they have nurtured me when I was a child.”’  

Although this Verse speaks about parents, it reflects a principle of showing humility and mercy in relationships where someone has cared for or guided us. For siblings, it is a reminder that guidance should be done with gentleness, not resentment. 

Respect for the Elder, Mercy for the Younger 

It is recorded in Jami al-Tirmidhi, Book 27, Hadith 27, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.’  

This Hadith shows that both roles are dignified: the younger must show respect and the elder must show mercy. Sharing this with your children helps them understand that their bond is not competition but trust. 

By setting boundaries, affirming individuality, and grounding their roles in justice and mercy, you can nurture a sibling relationship where admiration is a blessing, and leadership is embraced without resentment.