How to Help a Teen Who ‘Can’t Relax’ Without Their Phone 

Parenting Perspective 

When your teenager claims they need to scroll on their phone to relax before sleeping, it often points to a deeply ingrained habit. Parents can feel caught in a difficult position: confiscating the phone may lead to arguments, but permitting endless scrolling can negatively affect sleep and mental wellbeing. The most effective approach involves combining empathy with clear guidance towards healthier bedtime routines. 

Start with Empathy 

Always begin with empathy to create a safe space for conversation. Acknowledge their perspective by saying something like, ‘I understand that you feel like scrolling helps you to switch off after a long day’. This validation makes them feel understood rather than criticised, which lowers their defensiveness and opens the door for a more productive discussion. 

Explain the Impact Gently 

Gently explain the science behind screen time and sleep without adopting a lecturing tone. You could frame it with care, for instance: ‘I know it seems relaxing, but the blue light from the screen actually signals your brain to stay awake. That might be why you sometimes still feel restless’. This approach focuses on their wellbeing rather than on just enforcing a rule. 

Offer Calming Alternatives 

Collaborate with your teenager to explore relaxing, screen-free alternatives. Suggest a few options and encourage them to experiment. This could include reading a book, journaling, listening to a calm podcast or Quranic recitation, or trying simple breathing exercises. The key is to find something that they personally find soothing. 

Create a Supportive Routine 

Establish a consistent and comforting bedtime routine that the whole family can appreciate. Simple rituals like dimming the lights an hour before bed, chatting for a few minutes about the day, or making du’a together can create a peaceful atmosphere. When this routine becomes a source of comfort, the desire for the phone will naturally decrease. 

By combining empathy with these practical steps, you send a clear message: you support their need to unwind, but you want to help them find healthier, more sustainable ways to do so that do not rely on a screen. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the night is a sacred time designated for rest and remembrance, not for digital overstimulation. Guiding a teenager to disconnect from their screen before sleep is a practical way to help them align their daily habits with this principle of spiritual balance. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqan (25), Verse 47: 

‘And it is He who has made for you the night as clothing, and sleep for rest, and made the day for resurrection…’ 

This verse highlights the divine purpose of the night as a time for genuine rest, designed to rejuvenate the body and soul, not deplete them with distractions. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6324, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whenever the Prophet intended to go to bed, he would recite: “In Your Name, O Allah, I live and I die.”‘ 

This beautiful practice teaches that the ultimate source of peace and security before sleeping is found in the remembrance of Allah, not in digital devices. 

By encouraging your teenager to replace scrolling with gentle routines and acts of remembrance, you help them access a much deeper form of calm that benefits both body and soul. Over time, they can learn that true tranquillity at the end of the day is found not in consuming endless content, but in cultivating a quiet heart connected to its Creator.