How to Help a Grieving Child Share Openly 

Parenting Perspective 

Avoidance Is a Form of Self-Protection 

When a child avoids talking about family after a loss, it usually stems from fear of being different or of reopening painful emotions. What your son is doing is a way of protecting himself, not a rejection of his grandmother’s memory. The most important thing you can do is reassure him that feeling sadness is not a weakness and that grief is part of love. 

Create a Safe Space at Home 

You can begin by creating space for him to express his emotions at home, where he feels safe. Encourage gentle conversations about his grandmother, perhaps by recalling happy memories or keeping something that reminds him of her. When he sees that grief and love can coexist, he may begin to feel less pressured to hide his emotions outside. 

Prepare Simple, Honest Responses 

To help him with his peers, you might guide him in simple, honest ways to respond if the topic comes up. For example, he could say, ‘My grandmother passed away, and I miss her.’ This allows him to share without needing to explain more than he is comfortable with. Let him know that he has the right to set boundaries, but also that there is no shame in naming his loss. Role-playing these responses together can give him confidence. 

Remind Him He Is Not Alone 

At the same time, gently remind him that every family carries its own joys and struggles, even if they are not always visible. Helping him see that he is not alone in facing challenges can reduce feelings of isolation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Grief Is a Natural Response to Loss 

In Islam, grief is not hidden away but recognised as a natural response to loss. Feeling sadness is part of being human and expressing it with dignity is part of faith. 

Loss Is Part of Life’s Test 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Baqarah (2), Verses 155–156: 

‘And indeed, very soon We (Allah Almighty) will test you with something: with fear; and hunger; and impoverishment of wealth and life and fruits of life; and give good news to those who are resilient. Those are the people when they come across any tribulation; they say “Indeed, we (came) from Allah (Almighty) and indeed, we will return to Him”’.  

This teaches children that loss is part of life’s test, and turning back to Allah brings comfort and meaning in grief. 

Sadness Is Not Something to Be Ashamed Of 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 23, Hadith 61, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, when his own son Ibrahim passed away, said: 

‘The eyes shed tears, the heart feels sorrow, but we do not say except what pleases our Lord.’ 

This shows children that feeling sadness is not something to be ashamed of, as even the holy Prophet ﷺ expressed it with honesty and patience. 

By guiding your son to see that his grief is part of love and that Islam honours those emotions, you help him carry his sadness with dignity. Over time, he will learn that speaking openly about loss does not make him weak but allows him to remember his grandmother in a way that brings him closer to Allah.