Parenting Perspective 

Offering an apology in public can feel overwhelming for a child. They may freeze, refuse to speak, or rush through the words simply to end the uncomfortable situation. While it is important for them to learn responsibility, forcing them through a moment of embarrassment can backfire and make the apology feel like a punishment. The aim is to guide them in a way that protects their dignity, builds resilience, and teaches them that accountability is an act of strength. 

Normalise Mistakes and Repair 

You can begin by teaching your child at home that everyone makes mistakes, adults and children alike, and that apologising is not a mark of failure but of courage. Use simple, everyday examples from your own life: “Do you remember when I apologised for forgetting to buy your favourite snack? Saying sorry made things better, not worse.” This helps them to see an apology as a normal and constructive part of life. 

Keep the Public Apology Brief but Sincere 

If the situation does require a public apology, it is best to keep it short and respectful. You can guide your child by saying, “All you need to say is, ‘I am sorry for what I said,’ and then we can move on.” This brevity helps to reduce the social pressure while still allowing for the relationship to be repaired. 

Offer Alternatives to Ease the Pressure 

If your child feels too overwhelmed to speak, you can allow them to apologise in a less direct but still meaningful way. This could be writing a short note, making a point of greeting the person respectfully the next time they meet, or offering a kind gesture. These options show them that the act of repair is more important than being put in the spotlight. 

Build Confidence Through Encouragement 

After your child has managed to offer an apology, praise their courage for having done so. You might say, “That was very brave of you to make things right.” This kind of encouragement helps to shift their memory of the event from one of embarrassment to one of pride, reinforcing the idea that accountability is a strength, not a weakness. 

By framing an apology as a normal, simple, and respected act, you can help your child to move past their feelings of embarrassment and begin to embrace it as a natural part of growing up. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, humility is not seen as a weakness but as a source of honour. Owning one’s mistakes and seeking to make amends is an act that brings a person dignity in the eyes of people and a great reward from Allah Almighty. Helping children to see an apology in this light can remove the feeling of shame and replace it with a sense of inner strength. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

This verse reminds us that humility in our conduct is a sign of true nobility, not humiliation. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that real strength is found in self-mastery. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ 

This teaches us that true strength lies in self-control and humility, not in pride or the avoidance of responsibility. By connecting the act of apology to the Islamic virtues of humility and strength, you can help your child to see that any feelings of embarrassment are temporary, but the respect that is gained from being sincere lasts much longer. They learn from your guidance that in Islam, true honour comes from courage, humility, and the desire to repair relationships, not from trying to save face.