How to Handle Jealousy When Grandparents Favour the Youngest 

Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Feelings, Do Not Dismiss Them 

It is natural for older children to feel hurt when they see their younger sibling receiving extra attention from grandparents. Children often interpret this as a sign of unequal love, even when that is not the reality. Your role is to acknowledge their feelings rather than brushing them aside. When a child says, ‘It is not fair,’ it is important to validate their perspective by responding with calm words such as, ‘I can see that you feel left out when grandparents give more time to your sibling.’ By naming their feelings, you assure them that their hurt is seen and not ignored. 

Explain That Attention Changes With Need 

At the same time, you can help them develop a more balanced view by explaining that different children may receive different kinds of attention at different times, but love is not reduced because of it. For example, you might remind them of times when they were younger and naturally received more care. Offering concrete examples can help children understand that attention changes with age and need, not with worth. 

Create Special Roles for Older Children 

To support them practically, make sure your older children also have their own moments of connection with grandparents. Encourage grandparents to involve them in special roles, such as helping to serve food, telling stories, or leading a game. This helps the older child feel valued and important, not overlooked. 

Reassure Them at Home 

At home, continue to reassure your older ones through consistent affection and quality time. When they know they are secure in your love, they are more likely to accept that temporary differences in attention from others do not mean they are less loved. 

Spiritual Insight 

Building Harmony Is an Act of Faith 

In Islam, fairness and reassurance within families are core values. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’  

This Verse reminds us that building harmony between family members is an act of faith. As a parent, you can guide your children to see sibling love as something to nurture, rather than letting jealousy cause division. 

Justice Protects Their Hearts 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari (Hadith 2587) and Sahih Muslim (Hadith 1623) that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

The justice mentioned here is not only in what you give but also in how you protect their hearts from feeling unloved or overlooked. 

By acknowledging your older children’s feelings, gently teaching them perspective, and ensuring they feel cherished, you help them internalise both fairness and compassion. This way, they learn that love in a family is constant and that Islam encourages nurturing bonds rather than competing for attention.