Parenting Perspective 

Public disagreements between children can be embarrassing and stressful for parents, but they also present important opportunities to teach respect, responsibility, and self-control. The key is to handle the situation with calm authority and to guide any apologies in a way that preserves dignity while still reinforcing accountability. 

Remove Them From the Public Eye 

Instead of correcting your children loudly in front of others, the first step should always be to calmly take them aside. You can say, “We will talk about this privately in a moment.” This approach avoids public shaming, models a respectful way to handle conflict, and gives everyone a chance to calm down. 

Address the Behaviour, Not Just the Scene 

Once you are away from onlookers, you can help your children reflect on what happened. You could ask, “What was that disagreement about? How do you think your brother or sister felt when that happened?” This ensures that any subsequent apology is connected to their actual feelings and actions, not just to the embarrassment of being seen. 

Guide a Private Apology First 

Encourage your children to apologise sincerely to each other in private before you all return to the group or public space. A private apology protects their dignity and allows them to be more sincere, as they are not performing for an audience. This teaches them that the primary goal is to take responsibility and mend the relationship. 

Follow Up with a Calm Discussion at Home 

Later, when you are back at home and the atmosphere is calm, it is helpful to revisit the situation. You can discuss alternative ways they could have handled their disagreement and remind them that showing respect for one another in public is a reflection of your family’s values. 

By separating the act of correction from the potential for public embarrassment, you help to ensure that any resulting apology is meaningful, rather than defensive or driven by shame. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, both dignity (izzah) and humility are considered important virtues. An apology should not be a cause for humiliation, but it should be a means of restoring peace and respect. Handling sibling fights in public with wisdom and care is a reflection of the prophetic method of guiding children with gentleness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verses 44: 

‘“But speak to him (Pharaoh) in a polite manner, so that he may realise, or be in awe (of what you are relating to him)”.’ 

This verse, though directed to Prophets Musa and Harun, provides a universal principle: even when correcting a wrong, gentle words are more effective as they preserve dignity and open the heart to positive change. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also modelled this approach. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6125, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse them.’ 

This teaches us that our method of correction should guide people’s hearts towards what is right, without causing unnecessary embarrassment or making them feel alienated. By handling your children’s public disagreements with calm and private correction, you are teaching them that an apology is about the sincere act of repairing a relationship, not about saving face. This helps them to see reconciliation as a value that is rooted in respect, mercy, and accountability before Allah Almighty.