How to Explain You’re Still Learning Patience 

Parenting Perspective 

A Teaching Opportunity, Not Hypocrisy 

It is a very natural concern when a child notices the gap between what a parent teaches and what they sometimes do. Instead of fearing that it makes you look hypocritical, you can use these moments as teaching opportunities about growth, humility, and honesty. Children do not expect perfection, but they do value honesty and consistency in what is acknowledged. 

Prayer Is About Asking for Help to Improve 

When your child points this out, you can respond simply and calmly: ‘You are right, sometimes I lose patience. That is something I am working on, and that is why I ask Allah to help me.’ This shows your child that making mistakes does not remove sincerity, and that prayer is not about claiming perfection but about asking for help to improve. 

Involve Your Child in Your Growth 

You can also involve your child in this growth by inviting them into gentle reminders. For example, you might say: ‘If you see me getting upset quickly, you can remind me to take a breath.’ This empowers the child while also showing them that patience is a lifelong practice for everyone, even parents. 

Frame Your Shortcomings as Part of Learning 

By framing your shortcomings as part of learning, you model to your child that they too can admit mistakes, seek help, and improve without shame. The key is to show them that asking Allah for patience is not a contradiction to your struggles, but a response to them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Striving for Better Character Is an Act of Worship 

Islam teaches us that striving for better character, even when we fall short, is itself an act of worship. 

Bridge the Gap Between Who You Are and Who You Want to Be 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’  

This Verse highlights that effort and striving, even with imperfections, are valued by Allah. Teaching your child this lesson helps them understand that turning to Allah in prayer is how we bridge the gap between who we are and who we want to be. 

Seeking Patience Makes You Sincere 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 78, Hadith 141, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overcomes others, but the one who controls himself when angry.’  

This hadith reminds both parents and children that patience is a form of strength, and that working towards it is part of spiritual growth. Sharing this with your child allows them to see that losing patience does not make someone a hypocrite; it makes them human, and seeking patience makes them sincere. 

By openly acknowledging your shortcomings while showing your reliance on Allah, you reassure your child that faith is not about perfection but about honesty, effort, and continuous turning back to Allah. This turns a difficult question into a powerful lesson of both humility and hope.