How to Engage Without Pretending or Forcing It 

Parenting Perspective 

When your teenage son speaks about games, online culture, or trends you do not understand, it can feel like a gap has opened between his world and yours. The temptation may be to either pretend interest or to dismiss these conversations as unimportant. Yet for your son, these topics are not just hobbies, they are often his way of inviting you into his world. If that invitation is ignored, he may begin to share less with you over time. 

Curiosity, Not Expertise 

You do not need to become an expert in his interests to stay connected. What matters more is your curiosity and your willingness to listen. You might say, ‘I do not know much about this game, can you explain it to me?’ This shows him that you value his knowledge and perspective. It also shifts the dynamic, allowing him to feel competent and respected while teaching you something. 

At the same time, it is important not to force enthusiasm or pretend expertise. Teenagers can sense inauthenticity quickly. Instead, focus on the parts you can engage with the emotions, the teamwork, or the creativity behind what he is describing. Ask questions like, ‘What do you enjoy most about it?’ or ‘What do you find difficult?’ This moves the conversation beyond the surface detail into areas that connect with his inner world. 

Create Relaxed Opportunities 

Set aside regular, relaxed opportunities for him to share, such as during meals or car rides. These moments signal that you are available, even if you do not fully understand his interests. Over time, your consistent curiosity and respect will show him that he does not need to filter his world for you, you are a safe listener, even in unfamiliar territory. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam reminds us that meaningful connection often comes not from expertise, but from mercy, attentiveness, and humility. The role of a parent is not only to teach, but also to listen, even when the subject seems unfamiliar or outside one’s interest. 

A Reminder to Engage with Curiosity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous….’ 

This Verse highlights that diversity, whether in culture, habits, or knowledge, is a means for connection and understanding, not dismissal. For a parent, this means engaging a child’s world with curiosity, even when it feels distant from one’s own. 

The Prophetic Model: Make Things Easy 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make things difficult. Give glad tidings and do not drive people away.’ 

[Sahih al-Bukhari,78:152] 

Applied here, this Hadith guides a parent to ease into their child’s world, rather than dismiss or complicate the connection by criticising unfamiliar interests. The aim is to make engagement simple and positive, not forced. 

By showing humility, curiosity, and steady presence, you model respect and openness. Your teenage son may never expect you to know every trend, but he will remember that you always made space to hear him. That, more than shared knowledge, is what nurtures lasting connection.