How to Encourage Cooperation Without Triggering Jealousy 

Parenting Perspective 

Recognition Is Not a Scarce Resource 

It is very common for children to feel that praise for a sibling means a lack of praise for them. This does not necessarily mean that they are ungrateful, but that children often interpret recognition as competition for love. The key is to separate praise from comparison and to teach that appreciation is not limited or scarce. 

Praise the Action, Not the Identity 

When you praise one child, focus on the action rather than the child’s identity. Instead of saying, ‘You are the most helpful,’ you might say, ‘Thank you for putting the books away, that made things easier for everyone.’ This makes the praise about the deed not a status that the other child feels excluded from. 

Invite Cooperation 

It also helps to invite cooperation into the moment. For example, if one child has helped, you could add, ‘That was great teamwork. How could we make it even better next time together?’ This shifts the focus from individual achievement to shared contribution, building a sense of family unity. 

Create Opportunities for Shared Praise 

Another useful approach is to create opportunities where both children are praised together. If one tidies up, you can encourage the other to add a small contribution so you can celebrate them both: ‘You brought the cushions, and he stacked the books. Look how quickly you finished together.’ This helps siblings experience praise as something they can share rather than something they must compete for. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings Without Shaming 

At the same time, if one child sulks, acknowledge their feelings without shaming them. A gentle response such as, ‘I can see you wanted recognition too. Let us find a way for you to help as well,’ shows that your love and attention are not withdrawn. Over time, this reassurance helps reduce defensiveness and builds a healthier response to praise. 

Spiritual Insight 

Every Small Act of Good Is Seen by Allah 

Islam teaches us that sincere deeds are valuable with Allah regardless of recognition from others. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Az-Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of judgement). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of judgement).’ 

This Verse reminds children and adults alike that every small act of good is seen by Allah, even if people overlook it. You can gently explain to your children that their efforts are never wasted, because Allah values each deed, whether praised aloud or not. 

Consistency Matters More Than One-Off Recognition 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are consistent, even if they are small.’  

This Hadith shows that steady kindness and cooperation matter more than one-off recognition. Encouraging your children to see their actions as part of worship, rather than competition, helps them understand that helping is an ongoing act of goodness, not a race for approval. 

By focusing on praising actions instead of labels, encouraging teamwork, and grounding the idea of recognition in the sight of Allah, you can nurture cooperation while gently reducing jealousy. In this way, your children will learn that every act of service has value, even when it is not always applauded.