How to Ease Separation Anxiety Without Feeling You’re Abandoning Them 

Parenting Perspective 

A Need for Reassurance, Not a Sign You’re Wrong 

Separation anxiety is very common in young children, and it is often more about needing reassurance than about you doing something wrong. Your child is trying to adjust to the idea that they can be safe even when you are not physically present. The goal is to help them build that sense of security gradually. 

Create a Consistent Goodbye Routine 

Start by creating a consistent goodbye routine. A short ritual, such as a hug, a kiss, and a special phrase you always say before leaving, can help your child recognise that leaving is not abandonment but part of the daily rhythm. Keeping it calm and brief avoids prolonging distress. 

Practise Short Separations 

It may also help to practise short separations at times other than work. For example, you might step into another room for a few minutes and then return, reminding your child that you always come back. This allows them to slowly develop confidence that your absence is temporary. 

Offer a Transitional Object 

A parent can also offer their child a transitional object, like a small toy or scarf that reminds them of you. This gives the child something tangible to hold on to when missing you feels overwhelming. Additionally, explain to them in simple words what you are doing when you leave, so they understand you are going for work with purpose, not disappearing. 

Your Emotional Bond Is Secure 

Most importantly, do not feel guilty for working. Children do not need parents to be physically present at all times; they need to know that their emotional bond is secure. By showing warmth before leaving and reconnecting with attention when you return, you are reinforcing that security. 

Spiritual Insight 

Balance Striving With Trust in Allah 

In Islam, the balance between striving in our responsibilities and placing trust in Allah is a central theme. As parents, we can only do our best to provide stability and reassurance, but we must also remember that true protection comes from Allah. This perspective can reduce the weight of guilt and help you model calm trust for your child. 

Whoever Relies Upon Allah, He Is Sufficient 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Talaaq (65), Verse 3: 

‘…And whoever is reliant on Allah (Almighty), then He is Sufficient for him (in every way)...’  

This Verse teaches that while a parent must make practical efforts, ultimate safety and provision are in Allah’s hands. When you remind yourself of this truth, it helps you convey to your child that both of you are under Allah’s care even when you are apart. 

Tie Your Camel, Then Rely on Allah 

It is recorded in Jami al-Tirmidhi, Book 37, Hadith 103, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Tie your camel and then rely on Allah.’ 

Applied to parenting, this means you should take the steps that ease your child’s worries, such as gentle routines and reassurance, while also placing reliance on Allah to protect and comfort them in your absence. 

By approaching the situation with steady reassurance and spiritual grounding, you are showing your child that love, and trust extend beyond physical presence. Over time, this nurtures both their independence and their faith that Allah’s care surrounds them wherever they are.