How to Discipline the Youngest Without Causing Resentment 

Parenting Perspective 

Separate Affection From Accountability 

It is natural for the youngest child to be treated with extra softness, but when this turns into excusing behaviour, older siblings quickly notice and may feel frustrated or resentful. The key is to separate affection from accountability. Your youngest needs the same clear boundaries as the others, even if he also receives warmth and reassurance. 

Set Consistent Expectations 

Begin by setting consistent expectations for all your children. When rules are broken, respond fairly, regardless of age. The consequence does not need to be identical, but it should be appropriate. For example, if he snatches a toy, he should be asked to return it and apologise, just as his siblings would be expected to do. This teaches the older ones that fairness is upheld and reassures the youngest that limits are part of love. 

Avoid Shaming and Reconnect Afterwards 

At the same time, avoid shaming him. Use calm, simple language so he understands what behaviour is expected. Afterwards, reconnect with a hug or kind word, showing him that discipline does not reduce love. This balance helps him grow responsibly while still feeling secure. 

Acknowledge the Older Children’s Feelings 

With the older children, acknowledge their feelings. You might say, ‘I know it looked like I was softer with him, but I am working on making sure the rules are fair for everyone.’ This transparency reduces resentment and shows them that you are listening. 

Celebrate Each Child’s Role 

Finally, find moments to celebrate each child’s role in the family. If the youngest often gets attention for being ‘the baby,’ deliberately praise the older ones for their contributions too, such as responsibility, creativity, or kindness. This creates a sense of balance and prevents sibling rivalry from deepening. 

Spiritual Insight 

Justice Is a Divine Command 

Islam places great importance on justice, especially within families. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An-Nahl (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty; and He (Allah Almighty) offers this enlightened direction so that you continue to realise (the true pathway of Islam).’  

This Verse reminds us that justice is a divine command. Applying this to parenting means avoiding favouritism, even unintentionally. Each child must feel that rules and love are applied with fairness, because justice within the home nurtures trust and harmony. 

Fear Allah and Be Just With Your Children 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This Hadith makes it clear that justice between children is not optional but a religious responsibility. Being just does not mean treating every child identically but ensuring that each one receives consistent guidance and affection. Allowing one child to escape accountability, even out of love, risks creating imbalance and resentment. 

By combining firm fairness with warmth, you teach your youngest that love includes guidance, and you show your older children that their place in the family is equally respected. Over time, this restores balance so that affection does not turn into unfairness, and all your children feel secure in both love and justice.