How to Connect When Your Child Shares More with Their Mother 

Parenting Perspective 

When you notice your child turning more easily to their mother for emotional sharing, it can stir up feelings of distance or even inadequacy. But this situation does not mean that you are failing as a father, it means your child has developed one secure channel of emotional safety, and now there is space to gradually build another. Your child feels emotionally secure with their mother and hence they easily open with her.  

Create More Emotional Safety 

Children tend to open up where they feel consistently seen, accepted, and emotionally safe. If your child is not sharing as openly with you yet, the focus should be on creating more of that emotional safety in small but reliable ways. Start with presence before pressure. Instead of asking direct questions like ‘What is wrong?’ or ‘Why did you not tell me?’, try gently commenting on what you observe: ‘You looked a bit quiet after school today. I am here if you want to talk.’ This invites sharing without demand where there is no comparison and the child receives a warm welcome for a conversation. 

Connection Outside of Problem-Solving 

It is also important to create moments of connection outside of problem-solving. Play together, walk together, or involve them in simple tasks. Children often open up not when they are asked to, but when they feel at ease. The more you show up with calm attention in ordinary moments, the more likely they are to turn to you during emotional times. 

Do not try to ‘match’ the mother’s closeness or feel threatened by it. Instead, model a different kind of emotional reliability, one marked by steady presence, listening without judgement, and a readiness to support. Over time, this builds a different but equally important form of closeness. 

Above all, stay consistent and invest the time allocated for your child on daily basis. Emotional trust is not built overnight. It grows through a series of quiet moments where a child feels safe, heard, and never pushed away. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamically, parenting is a trust that extends beyond provision, it includes emotional care, character development, and relational mercy. Building that bond is not about authority alone, but about embodying the qualities that invite trust. 

A Reminder That Gentleness Gathers Hearts 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

This Verse speaks of the leadership of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, but it offers a deep parenting insight. Gentleness, not control, is what gathers hearts. A child does not share with the one who demands closeness, but with the one who offers softness, even in disappointment. 

The Prophetic Model: Gentleness is a Door, not a Wall 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things.’ 

[Sunan Ibn Majah,33:33] 

When a father adopts gentleness, in tone, presence, and response, he becomes a door rather than a wall. That is what inspires a child’s heart and invites them to share time with the father. 

So, if your child speaks more to their mother now, do not worry. Keep showing gentleness, consistency, and calm availability. With time, your child will feel the safety of your presence, and when they do, they will begin to open the door to you.