How to Connect Islamic Values to Sibling Fights 

Parenting Perspective 

First Calm the Storm, Then Bring in the Teaching 

When children are in the middle of a fight, their emotions often rise so high that reasoning or reminders do not land. In those moments, they are focused on defending themselves rather than listening. This is why Islamic reminders may seem ignored, even though the values are deeply important. A parent’s role is to match the timing: first calm the storm, then bring in the teaching. 

Separate, Then Reflect 

Practically, this means separating the children long enough for emotions to settle. Instead of lecturing in the heat of anger, offer short, calming statements such as ‘I can see you are both upset. Let us pause.’ Once everyone is calmer, that is the moment to connect the behaviour to values. Children learn best when they can reflect, not when they are overwhelmed. 

Link Islamic Values to Everyday Acts 

To make Islamic values feel real, link them to small, everyday acts rather than only to conflicts. For example, praise a child for sharing a toy by saying, ‘That is the mercy the Prophet ﷺ taught us.’ Or highlight when siblings comfort each other by connecting it to Islamic brotherhood. Over time, they begin to associate Islam not just with correction but also with recognition and love. 

Make the Connection Natural, Not Forced 

This approach builds a natural connection between Deen and daily life, showing children that the teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ are not lofty ideals, but practical guides for how they treat each other. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Goal Is to Return to Peace 

The noble Quran reminds us that mercy is central to relationships. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’  

This verse highlights that disagreements will occur, but believers are called to repair them with fairness and fear of Allah. Parents can use this verse to show children that sibling conflicts are not unusual, but what matters most is how quickly they return to peace. 

Be Servants of Allah, Brothers 

It is recorded in Sahih Al-Bukhari, Book 78, Hadith 95, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not hate one another, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert each other, but O servants of Allah, be brothers.’  

This hadith can be gently introduced to children after conflicts, emphasising that their bond as siblings is a trust from Allah, and that even when they argue, they must return to love and mercy. 

By bringing teachings into calmer moments, and by connecting them to positive behaviours as well as corrections, a parent helps children experience Islam as living guidance. In this way, sibling disagreements become opportunities to practise mercy, rather than just occasions of frustration.