How to Coach Your Child to Respond When Classmates Give Them a Nasty Nickname 

Parenting Perspective 

Being called a hurtful name can be a deeply piercing experience for a child. Every nickname that mocks or belittles presents a quiet test of their self-worth, and a parent’s response can shape how a child sees themselves for years to come. The goal is not to erase cruelty from the world, but to equip your child with the emotional strength, calm words, and spiritual dignity to face it. 

Listen First to Validate Their Feelings 

When your child tells you about a hurtful nickname, it is important to pause before offering solutions and simply let them speak. You might say: 

‘That must have felt really hurtful. Tell me what happened and how it made you feel.’ 

Listening first validates their pain and signals that their feelings are real and safe to share. This is an essential first step before you can begin to teach resilience. 

Separate Their Worth from Hurtful Words 

Explain to your child that mockery is a reflection of the speaker’s character, not the target’s value. Help them to understand that cruel words are powerless unless they are believed. You could say: 

‘Their words do not define who you are. They only show who they are choosing to be.’ 

This perspective helps your child to hold onto their confidence even when others try to diminish it. 

Teach Calm and Clear Responses 

Instead of encouraging them to fight back, teach your child to use short, composed replies that set clear boundaries. 

• ‘I do not like that name. Please use my real one.’ 

• ‘That is not kind. Please stop.’ 

Practise these responses through role-play so your child feels prepared to use them without panic or anger. A calm reply, said once before walking away, protects their dignity and stops the cycle of reaction. 

Praise Self-Control, Not Just Courage 

After they have handled such a moment, focus your praise on how they managed themselves emotionally. 

‘You stayed calm and spoke very clearly. That was strong.’ 

This helps to build their identity around emotional control, rather than confrontation. 

Know When to Involve the School 

If the teasing becomes persistent or public, it is appropriate to alert their teachers calmly. By doing this, you model how to seek help respectfully instead of with anger, teaching your child the value of advocacy through the proper channels. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that demonstrating dignity and restraint in the face of provocation is a mark of true strength. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ faced ridicule and mockery with immense patience and grace, showing believers that calm endurance carries far more honour than retaliation. 

The Quranic Prohibition of Mockery 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames; how bad is it to be called by nefarious names after the attainment of faith…’ 

This verse directly forbids name-calling and belittlement, declaring them acts unworthy of a believer. It serves as a reminder to children that Allah Almighty protects human dignity, and that walking away from an insult is an act of faith, not weakness. 

The Prophetic Virtue of Restraint 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4186, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever restrains his anger while able to act upon it, Allah will call him before all creation on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose from among the Hur al-‘Ayn whomever he wishes.’ 

This Hadith reveals the immense value Allah Almighty places on emotional control. A child who chooses a calm response over a retaliatory insult is mirroring this prophetic strength, responding to cruelty with character, not vengeance. 

When a child learns to meet mockery with dignity, they gain something more powerful than victory in an argument: they gain mastery over themselves. 

Your calm guidance can help them turn pain into poise, anger into patience, and fear into faith. Over time, they will discover that no nickname or insult can ever define them, because they know who they are in the sight of Allah Almighty: honoured, capable, and strong through restraint.