How to Coach a Child Who Uses Non-Verbal Sarcasm 

Parenting Perspective 

Non-verbal sarcasm, such as exaggerated sighs, smirks, or mocking gestures, can be just as hurtful as disrespectful words. Children often use these behaviours to express frustration without directly arguing, but the impact on family relationships is still significant. Coaching them requires calm clarity, helping them recognise the effect of their actions and offering healthier alternatives. 

Name the Behaviour Clearly 

Point out what you see without shaming your child. You could say, “When you smirk like that, it feels like you are mocking me.” This helps your child connect their actions to the message they are sending and encourages them to take responsibility. 

Explain Why It Matters 

Let your child know that sarcasm, even when silent, damages trust and respect. You can say, “Even if you do not say anything, those gestures are hurtful and make it more difficult for us to communicate.” Linking the action to its consequence makes the lesson more meaningful. 

Practise Respectful Alternatives 

Give your child the tools to replace sarcasm. Teach them to calmly say, “I disagree,” or “I am upset right now.” This builds their emotional literacy, teaching them that honesty is more effective than mockery. 

By coaching in this way, you help your child see sarcasm as unhelpful and immature, while guiding them toward a more respectful and honest way of communicating. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings prohibit mockery and disrespectful behaviour, whether it is conveyed through speech or non-verbal gestures. These actions are seen as harmful to both our relationships and our spiritual state. 

Guidance from the noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘…And do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive…’ 

This verse reminds us that indirect mockery or hurtful gestures fall under the same principle as backbiting, as they cause harm without any benefit. 

Teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saleehin, Hadith 1734, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is not one who taunts, curses, or uses obscene language.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that sarcasm, whether it is spoken or implied through gestures, is not in line with the noble character of a believer. 

When you coach your child to replace non-verbal sarcasm with honest expression, you are shaping their character according to Islamic values. They learn that respect is not just about avoiding bad words but also about avoiding gestures that belittle others. This approach builds maturity, humility, and sincerity, which are qualities that strengthen both family bonds and faith.