How to Build Support When You Have Been Self-Sufficient for Too Long 

Parenting Perspective 

Feeling like you must manage everything alone often starts as protection and over time, becomes a barrier. Self-sufficiency may have kept you stable, but it can also leave you emotionally isolated, especially in parenting where small struggles get piled up.  

Take a Small, Low-Stakes Step 

You do not need to share your deepest feelings all at once. Begin with a small, low-stakes step. You might choose someone you respect perhaps a family member, a friend, or a community mentor and say, ‘I trusted myself deeply, but I am feeling worn down.’ This frames your need not as weakness, but as reaching a limit. It invites compassion without you having to expose everything at once. 

Allow Trust to Grow in Layers 

Allow the trust to grow in gradually in steps. Let someone hold a small piece first maybe a mundane frustration or a moment of exhaustion. If their response affirms your need rather than dismisses it, it builds a bridge. Over time, you can share more. This kind of pacing offers safety, not pressure. 

Model Interdependence 

As a parent, trusting others with parts of your heart models interdependence not enmeshment for your child. It teaches them that strength and connection can coexist. Start small and let emotionally safe support expand your capacity, rather than empty it. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages both faith in Allah and the use of means God has placed around you including trustworthy companions. Seeking support is not a lack of trust in Allah; it is trust in His network of mercy and wisdom. 

A Reminder That Patience Invites Community 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), verses 46: 

‘And obey Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ), and do not dispute (with each other) as it may weaken (your ranks), and would reduce your strength, and show resilience; indeed, Allah (Almighty) it is with those people who are resilient.’ 

While these Verses emphasise patience, they also highlight the toll of internalising struggles alone. Patience does not require isolation—it invites community and steadfastness together. 

The Prophetic Model: Believers Strengthen Each Other 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“The example of a believer is like a solid brick in a wall; one strengthens the other.” 

[Riyad as Salihin, 222] 

This Hadith affirms that believers are meant to lean on each other not carry alone. When you allow others to lean into you, you authorise their strength to become part of your own structure, and model authentic vulnerability for your child. 

You are not failing by trusting others. You are fulfilling a prophetic tradition which is the one rooted in humility, reliance, and mutual support. Let trust grow, just as faith does: in steps, with intention, and with reverence for the strength that emerges when hearts stand together.