How to Build Empathy When Teachers’ Expectations Feel Strict 

Parenting Perspective 

When children view a teacher’s strict expectations as unfair or harsh, it is often because they are comparing them to more lenient adults in their lives. Building empathy helps a child to see that teachers are not trying to make life difficult but are rather guiding them with structure and care. This shift in perspective helps to reduce a child’s resistance and nurtures respect for authority. 

Explain the Purpose Behind Rules 

Talk with your child about why teachers have rules. Explain that the rules are there to maintain order, ensure fairness, and help every student succeed. For example, you can say, “Your teacher asks for quiet not because they are being mean, but to give everyone a chance to learn.” Connecting expectations to positive outcomes helps to soften your child’s resistance. 

Encourage Perspective-Taking 

Ask your child to imagine what it feels like to manage a large class of students. You can say, “How do you think a teacher feels when everyone talks at once?” This helps them move from a self-focused mindset to one that understands the responsibilities of others. 

Praise Efforts to Show Understanding 

When your child accepts a rule without complaining or shows empathy towards a teacher, make sure you acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement helps to build their motivation to continue practising respect, even when they feel the rules are strict. 

By guiding them in this way, you help your child grow into a person who can balance their self-expression with a deep respect for those who lead and guide them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings remind us that effort and patience in following guidance, even when it feels difficult, lead to growth and divine support. Respect for teachers is a profound act of honouring knowledge itself. 

Guidance from the noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’ 

This verse reminds us that effort and patience in following guidance, even when it feels difficult, lead to growth and divine support. 

Teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 154, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The teacher of people and the one who learns both share the reward.’ 

This Hadith teaches us those respecting teachers, and their efforts is part of honouring knowledge itself. 

By helping your child see beyond the surface of strict expectations, you are shaping their empathy and respect in line with Islamic values. They will learn that discipline is a form of care, that teachers carry heavy responsibilities, and that patience with guidance leads to both worldly success and spiritual reward.