How to Become a More Attuned Listener to Your Child 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a wise realisation to notice that hearing your child’s words is not always the same as understanding their needs. Often, what a child expresses on the surface is only a glimpse of what they are truly feeling underneath. Becoming a more attuned listener requires slowing down, observing carefully, and responding with curiosity rather than rushing to solve or advise. 

Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues 

A parent can begin by paying attention to tone of voice, body language, and timing. For example, a child who says ‘I am fine’ but avoids eye contact or withdraws may be signaling that they are not fine at all. In such moments, instead of pressing them for details, you might gently reflect back on what you notice: ‘You say you are fine, but you look upset. I am here when you are ready to share.’ This communicates safety and openness without pressure. 

Use Open Questions 

It is also helpful to use open questions that allow your child to expand if they wish, such as, ‘What part of your day made you smile?’ or ‘Was there anything tricky about school today?’ These questions give space for hidden worries or joys to come through naturally. Equally important is to allow silence. Sometimes a pause gives a child the courage to continue sharing more than they first intended. 

Over time, children learn that you are not only listening to their words but also caring about their unspoken needs. This builds trust, because they feel truly seen. The goal is not to always get it perfectly right, but to stay present and responsive, showing your child that you value their inner world even when it is hard to express. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places deep emphasis on listening with patience and empathy, because listening itself can be a form of mercy.  

A Reminder of Connection and Reconciliation 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This Verse highlights the principle of connection and reconciliation among believers. Within a family, listening attentively is part of that connection, because it helps to ease the inner conflicts a child may be carrying. By striving to understand even what is unsaid, a parent fulfils a role of mercy and unity. 

The Prophetic Model: Good Character in the Home 

It is recorded in Jami al-Tirmidhi that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character.’ 

[Jami al-Tirmidhi,12:17] 

Part of good character in the home is to listen with patience, even when words are unclear or incomplete. By doing so, a parent not only strengthens their child’s trust but also refines their own character in line with faith. 

When you lean in with presence, watch for what your child’s heart is saying, and respond with gentleness, you are embodying both parental care and spiritual duty. In this way, your listening becomes an act of love and an act of worship, bringing you closer to your child and to Allah Almighty.