How to Balance Your Needs With Your Baby’s During Feeding 

Parenting Perspective 

Sustaining Your Care in the Long Run 

Breastfeeding is not only a source of nutrition for your child but also a deep emotional connection. It is natural to feel drained when you are the constant source of comfort, and many mothers experience the tension between wanting to give closeness and needing to preserve their own strength. Recognising your own limits is not a failure, but an important part of sustaining your care in the long run. 

Create a Rhythm That Protects Your Energy 

One way to balance this is to create a rhythm around feeding that protects your energy. If you are able, feed in a comfortable space where you can rest your body and mind at the same time. Small adjustments such as reclining, using cushions, or ensuring water and a light snack are near you can make the process less depleting. If you feel too exhausted at certain moments, it is acceptable to delay feeding slightly by soothing your baby with gentle words, rocking, or skin-to-skin closeness until you are ready. This still communicates safety and love. 

Involve Others to Build Closeness 

You can also involve your husband or a trusted family member in building closeness with the baby in other ways, such as holding, burping, or settling the child after feeding. This allows your child to experience warmth from multiple caregivers while giving you short pauses to restore yourself. It also reinforces that love and security are shared responsibilities in the family. 

Closeness Is More Than Just Feeding 

It is important to view closeness as more than just the act of feeding. Eye contact, gentle touch, and calm words all reinforce attachment. By intentionally offering these in moments when you have more energy, your child still feels the depth of your connection even if you sometimes need space. Balancing your needs and theirs is not about neglecting either side, but about weaving care in a way that preserves both. 

Spiritual Insight 

Caring for a Child Is a Shared Duty 

In Islam, the responsibility for a child’s well-being is shared between husband and wife. While both must be concerned for their child, the act of caring for and nurturing them is a necessary, shared duty. 

The Mother’s Wellbeing Must Be Safeguarded 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 233: 

‘And the (divorced) mothers may breastfeed their children for two complete years, for whoever wishes to complete the (period of) breastfeeding (for the baby); and upon the father (is the responsibility) of the food and clothing (for the mother and child) to an appropriate level...’ 

 This Verse honours the act of breastfeeding as a complete form of care, while also reminding us that the responsibility of provision and support is shared with the father. Islam acknowledges the strain this can place on a mother and ensures that she is not expected to carry it alone. This balance shows that while the child’s needs are important, the mother’s well-being must also be safeguarded. 

Your Body Has a Right Over You 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 67, Hadith 133, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Your body has a right over you.’  

This Hadith teaches that looking after one’s physical and emotional health is an act of responsibility, not selfishness. Preserving your strength while breastfeeding ensures that you can continue nurturing your child with mercy and consistency. 

Therefore, when you pace yourself, accept help, and create balance, you are not withholding from your child. You are honouring both your trust as a mother and the rights Allah Almighty has given you, building a bond that is strong and sustainable for both you and your child.