How to Ask for Support When Everyone Thinks You Are Coping Well 

Parenting Perspective 

The world often reads only the version of us that is most visible. In a time when smiles are posted and struggles are hidden, it is entirely understandable to feel misread and unseen. But needing help does not make you weak or failing. It makes you human, and a present, invested parent. 

An Act of Integrity 

Asking for support is not an admission of defeat; it is an act of integrity. When you name your needs, you are not burdening others, you are being honest about what it takes to sustain a relationship as weighty as parenthood. Begin by choosing one or two safe people. You do not need to explain everything. A simple, ‘I am finding it hard to stay steady right now,’ opens a door to support without justifying your feelings. 

Identify When You Feel Most Stretched 

You may also wish to consider the rhythm of your day. Are there moments where you feel most stretched or most alone? Identifying this can help you ask for support that is specific and realistic. For instance, rather than sharing a broad request, say: ‘Would you be able to check in with me after bedtime? That is when it feels most quiet and hard.’ Clarity builds trust, and it reminds you that your needs are valid. 

Model Self-Compassion 

Importantly, model self-compassion when you speak of your needs. Your child is not just watching how you parent them, they are watching how you parent yourself. If you allow yourself gentleness, they will learn to do the same. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, seeking support is not viewed as shameful. It is a recognition of our limits and our reliance on both Allah and the people He places in our lives. 

A Reminder to Cooperate in Righteousness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), verse 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

This verse reminds us that supporting one another in good, especially in caring for our families, is part of righteousness. Your request for help is not a disruption; it is an opportunity for someone else to fulfil their duty of care. 

The Prophetic Model: True Strength is Emotional Regulation 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry. ‘

[Sahih Muslim, 45:140] 

This Hadith shows us that strength lies in emotional regulation, not in appearing invulnerable. Your strength, therefore, is not in being unaffected, but in turning towards what sustains you. 

Letting others in is not a mark of failure. It is an act of faith in connection, in honesty, and in the quiet strength it takes to keep showing up, for your child, and for yourself.