How should parents set boundaries when teens argue that ‘all my friends have freedom online’? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a classic teenage tactic to claim that ‘everyone else’ has more online freedom as a way of pushing back against family boundaries. While this comparison can make parents feel guilty or question if they are being overly strict, it is usually an exaggeration and a normal test of limits. The goal is to remain firm in your convictions while helping your teenager understand that your rules are a form of protection, not punishment. 

Acknowledge Their Frustration Without Giving In 

It is important to start with empathy. You could say: ‘I understand it must feel difficult and frustrating when you see your friends doing things that you are not allowed to do.’ By recognising their feelings without conceding on the rule, you can prevent the conversation from escalating into a full-blown rebellion. 

Explain That Every Family Has Its Own Values 

Gently remind them: ‘In our family, we make decisions based on our own values and what we believe is best for your well-being, not based on what other families are doing.’ Children need to be reminded that family rules are guided by care, not by comparing or competing with others. 

Use Logic and Real-Life Parallels 

Help them to think critically about the logic of following the crowd. You can use real-world examples they will understand: ‘Some people may have habits that are not good for them, but that does not mean we should copy them just to fit in. Our responsibility is to do what is safe and right.’ 

Offer Gradual Freedom With Responsibility 

Reassure your teenager that more freedom will come as they demonstrate more responsibility. You can frame it as a positive goal: ‘The more you show us that you can handle your current freedom with honesty and balance, the more trust and independence you will gain over time.’ This helps them to see the rules as a pathway to freedom, not as a permanent roadblock. 

By combining empathy with gentle firmness, parents can hold their boundaries effectively without being swayed by social comparisons. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true success and contentment are found not in blindly copying the behaviour of others, but in confidently following the path of wisdom and divine guidance, even if that path makes one different from the majority. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anam (6), Verses 116: 

‘And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but assumption, and they are only guessing…’ 

This powerful verse reminds us that following the crowd is not a guarantee of safety or wisdom. Truth is not measured by popularity, and the majority is not always upon the right path. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3986, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Islam began as something strange and will return to being strange as it began, so glad tidings to the strangers.’ 

This beautiful hadith teaches us that choosing to be different in order to hold onto what is true and beneficial is a sign of strength and a source of great blessing, not a loss. 

By sharing this spiritual wisdom, parents can reassure their teenagers that the family’s boundaries are an expression of love, even when they differ from those of their peers. This helps them to learn, over time, that true freedom is not about doing what ‘everyone else’ does, but about living a life of responsibility that is aligned with one’s deepest values.