How should my child respond when peers shout over them in group work? 

Parenting Perspective 

Group work can be a challenging environment for many children, especially when louder peers dominate the discussion. Your child may feel ignored, frustrated, or unsure of whether to continue speaking or to withdraw completely. Teaching them to respond with a calm confidence, being neither silenced nor confrontational, helps them to develop emotional resilience, communication skills, and a quiet leadership that is rooted in respect. 

Acknowledge Their Frustration 

It is always best to begin by validating their feelings before offering advice. You could say: 

‘I can understand why that felt unfair. It is hard when other people talk over you.’ 

Validation helps your child to release their frustration and become more open to guidance. It lets them know that their emotions are real, even if their next actions must be calm and wise. 

Teach Assertiveness Without Aggression 

Help your child to find the right balance between speaking up for themselves and remaining respectful. You can practise short scripts at home that they can use with confidence. 

• ‘I would like to finish what I was saying, and then I will listen to you.’ 

• ‘Let us take turns so that everyone gets a chance to share their ideas.’ 

The tone they use matters just as much as the words themselves. It should be steady and confident, not sharp or defensive. 

Encourage Calm Repetition 

If their peers continue to interrupt, your child can calmly repeat their boundary one more time. 

‘I will wait until everyone is ready to listen.’ 

After saying this, they should pause. This quiet composure often draws more attention than a competing volume would. Children who can stay calm in a noisy environment model a maturity that their teachers and peers will eventually come to respect. 

Use Confident Body Language 

Non-verbal signals are very powerful. You can encourage your child to: 

• Sit upright with an open posture. 

• Make calm and steady eye contact when speaking. 

• Keep their voice measured, not louder, but clear. 

Confident body language helps their words to carry more weight, even among louder peers. 

Frame Listening as a Form of Leadership 

Explain to your child that true leaders are not always the loudest ones in the room. You could say: 

‘Good leaders often listen first, and then speak with purpose. Your calmness makes others trust your words more.’ 

This helps your child to see patience as a strength, turning their restraint into a sign of self-assurance, not weakness. 

Guide Them to Seek Support When Needed 

If your child often feels excluded despite their best efforts, encourage them to speak privately with their teacher. 

‘I tried to take turns, but I am finding it hard to be heard. Can you help the group to make it fairer?’ 

Seeking help in a respectful manner is a way of building self-advocacy without being disrespectful to authority. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours restraint, fairness, and dignity in speech. A believer is taught to uphold the truth without harshness, and to respond with calmness when faced with chaos. Teaching your child to stay composed when their peers are shouting is more than just social training; it is a way of nurturing patience (sabr) and forbearance (hilm), both of which are traits that are deeply beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Calm Dignity in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.’ 

This verse beautifully describes the grace of a calm strength. By staying composed when others raise their voices, your child is reflecting this noble character, responding with peace, not with pride. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Example of True Strength 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry.’ 

This hadith reminds us that true strength lies in self-control. When your child is faced with noise or disrespect and yet chooses calmness, they are showing a moral strength that is far greater than that of those who shout to be heard. Their patience and respectful assertiveness mirror the Prophetic model of grace under pressure. 

When your child learns to maintain their composure while others are shouting, they are practising a form of emotional leadership that earns a quiet respect, rather than just fleeting attention. 

Over time, they will discover that being heard is not about volume, but about value. They will learn that Allah Almighty elevates those who speak with respect, listen with care, and hold on to their dignity, even in the midst of noise.