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How should I respond when my child is upset if I want to strengthen our bond?

Parenting Perspective

A child’s brain becomes overwhelmed with emotion when they are unhappy, making it impossible for them to think. Connection, not correction, is what they need first. Strong responses like ‘I see this is really hard for you’ or ‘I am here, and you are not alone’ allow for emotion rather than trying to solve it. If accepted, adopt a relaxed demeanour, an open stance, and physical intimacy. Do not rush them to stop sobbing. You demonstrate to your child that their feelings are safe with you when you remain composed and compassionate even when they are experiencing strong emotions.

Spiritual Insight

Islam emphasizes compassion and emotional presence, particularly at vulnerable times. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed compassion to both adults and children in need. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2319, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young.’ Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 128: ‘Without any doubt, there has come to you (O mankind), the Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ) from amongst yourself… he is extremely desirous (for the best) for you and remains most compassionate and most merciful for the believers.’ The foundation of any stable relationship is trust, which is fostered by a parent who reflects this Rahmah in times of distress.

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