Parenting Perspective 

Raising your voice in public can be an uncomfortable and emotionally charged moment for both you and your child. If your child shows signs of shame, it is vital to act swiftly to show them that your love and care are unconditional. The most effective response is to immediately acknowledge your behaviour, offer comfort, and reassure them that their feelings are valid. Your actions not only help to repair the emotional connection but also teach your child a valuable lesson in managing difficult feelings constructively. 

Acknowledge and Apologise Immediately 

The first step is to take full responsibility for your actions. Apologising to your child, especially in a public setting, models humility and reinforces the idea that owning our mistakes is a sign of strength, not weakness. A brief, direct apology can clear the air and begin the process of repair. 

You could say: ‘I am sorry for raising my voice. I should not have done that.’ 

This apology is simple yet powerful. It acknowledges the harm without excuse and sets a tone of reconciliation. 

Provide Reassurance and Comfort 

After the apology, it is essential to reassure your child. Let them know that their feelings are understandable and that they are not responsible for your outburst. Offering physical comfort, whether through a gentle touch or a hug, shows your child that they are safe and loved, regardless of the mistake you made. 

You could say: ‘I love you, and I am sorry you felt that way. You did not do anything wrong.’ 

This reassurance helps to soothe your child and provides crucial emotional security, demonstrating that the relationship is far more important than the fleeting moment of anger. 

Maintain Calmness and Patience 

Your conduct after the apology is critical. If your child remains upset or is not ready to talk, give them space while maintaining a calm and reassuring presence. Sometimes, quiet patience can communicate your support more effectively than words, letting your child know you are there for them when they are ready. 

You might say: ‘I will be here when you are ready to talk.’ 

This simple offer of availability removes any pressure and reassures them that the connection will be restored at their own pace. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, self-restraint and compassion are core values, particularly in moments of heightened emotion. The ability to control one’s temper and seek forgiveness is not only a means of personal development but also a way to cultivate strong, loving relationships. 

The Command for Just Speech 

The noble Quran encourages us to speak with kindness and act with justice, even when we feel frustrated. By acknowledging our errors and seeking to repair the harm, we align ourselves with the divine principles of fairness and mercy. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verse 70: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.‘ 

This verse serves as a reminder to handle all our interactions, especially with our children, with care and integrity. 

The Virtue of Seeking Forgiveness 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasise that seeking forgiveness is a vital part of spiritual life. By apologising for our shortcomings and striving to maintain patience, we not only mend our relationships with others but also strengthen our bond with our Creator. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 1768, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever seeks forgiveness from Allah, Allah will forgive them.’ 

This hadith reminds us of the power of sincere repentance. In apologising to our child, we are also turning to Allah Almighty, who values our efforts to be compassionate and just.