How Self-Dismissal Affects How Your Child Sees Effort 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, this self-dismissal could very likely affect the perspective of your child regarding effort and self-worth. Children absorb the way their parents treat themselves as much as they absorb how they are treated. If a parent consistently minimises their own effort, a child may unconsciously learn that value comes only from grand achievements, not from steady, sincere effort. Over time, this shapes how a child sees themselves, their contributions, and whether they feel ‘enough’ without applause. 

Your Words Become Their Inner Dialogue 

As a parent, your words become the inner dialogue your child adopts. When you brush off your contributions, cooking meals, managing routines, listening when they are upset, as ‘nothing special,’ you unintentionally send a message that care, and commitment hold less value than perfection or productivity. 

Speak About Your Efforts with Respect 

To reframe this, practise speaking about your efforts with respect. You do not need to exaggerate or seek praise but rather recognise your actions honestly: ‘I worked hard to prepare this,’ or ‘That was a long day, but I did what was needed.’ This helps your child learn that showing up with intention is worthy in itself. 

Humility Without Self-Erasure 

Equally, it models the ability to acknowledge effort without arrogance. That balance, of humility without self-erasure, is a powerful life skill for children to witness and internalise. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that the worth of a deed lies not in its size, but in its sincerity and consistency. Dismissing your own efforts contradicts the divine principle that every act done for the right reason carries weight. 

A Reminder That No Deed is Too Small 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), verses 7–8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of judgement). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of judgement).’ 

This verse powerfully affirms that no deed is too small in the sight of Allah. Even the tiniest effort is seen, recorded, and meaningful. When a parent devalues their good actions, they deny the weight that Allah Himself has granted them. 

The Prophetic Model: The Value of Consistency 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“The most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are consistent, even if they are small.” 

[Sahih al-Bukhari, 6464] 
 

This Hadith reaffirms that sustained, daily acts of care and responsibility, often unnoticed by the world, are deeply beloved to Allah. Speaking of your efforts with quiet integrity nurtures your child’s understanding that small, sincere actions matter. 

When you value your own contributions, you teach your child that their efforts are worth acknowledging too. And through that, you raise a child who feels seen, safe, and enough.