Parenting Perspective 

After an apology, especially in an emotionally charged moment, a swift follow-up is important to show your child that your regret is sincere and that you are committed to making things right. The immediacy of your follow-up demonstrates that your apology was not just a fleeting gesture, but a genuine attempt to repair your emotional connection. This also models a healthy and constructive way to handle mistakes. 

Take Immediate Action to Reinforce Your Words 

Once you have apologised, it is vital to take a small, immediate action that reinforces what you have said. This could involve visibly calming yourself down, offering comfort, or showing patience in a way that proves you are already working to change. Prompt action helps your child see that the apology was not empty. 

You could say: ‘I am going to take a deep breath and be patient with you. Let us talk calmly now.’ 

This step shows your child that you are serious about your apology and are actively correcting your behaviour in the moment. 

Reassure with Affection and Presence 

A quick and effective follow-up often involves showing physical affection or simply sitting with your child to help them feel emotionally safe again. Giving them your time and patient attention is a powerful form of follow-up that signals your availability to listen and respond with kindness. 

You might say: ‘I will stay with you for a bit so you know I am here, and we can be calm together.’ 

Offering this reassurance within minutes of an apology helps to solidify your sincerity, which is especially important for young children who respond well to non-verbal cues. 

Keep Your Promise for Lasting Change 

In the hours and days that follow, it is crucial to act on any promises you made. If you said you would use a calmer voice, you must demonstrate this through consistent effort. Children learn more from what we do than from what we say, so it is essential to model the change you spoke about. 

You can reinforce this by saying: ‘I have been practising staying calm, just like I promised. Let us work on this together.’ 

This consistent follow-through shows your child that you are committed to personal growth and that their feelings matter enough for you to make a lasting change. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the sincerity of our actions after an apology is a direct reflection of our true repentance. An immediate follow-up is essential to show that our remorse is genuine, as the process of making amends involves both words and deeds. 

Repentance is Followed by Righteous Action 

The noble Quran teaches that sincere repentance is always followed by righteous actions. Just as we seek Allah’s forgiveness and then demonstrate our sincerity through our deeds, we must follow our apologies to others with a clear change in our behaviour. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 70: 

‘ Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.‘ 

This verse highlights that true repentance is an active process that includes self-improvement and good deeds. 

The Importance of Demonstrating Change 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reinforce the importance of not just expressing regret but also demonstrating true change. Following up on an apology with tangible actions is a sign of sincere repentance. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 4866, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of those who repent are those who follow up their repentance with righteous deeds.’ 

This hadith reminds us that to restore a relationship with our child and align with our spiritual path, our apologies must be supported by our actions, leading to true growth and reconciliation.