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How does seeing peers with expensive stationery affect a child’s sense of value? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child sees their peers using expensive stationery, such as designer pens or fancy backpacks, they can begin to feel that their own simpler items make them inferior. Children often connect their identity with what they own, so the presence of luxury school supplies can directly influence how they measure their personal worth. 

Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey

The Impact on a Child’s Self-Esteem 

A child with modest stationery may feel embarrassed, even if their belongings are perfectly functional. This can lead to self-consciousness, making them less confident about participating in class or sharing their work with others. 

Shaping Unhealthy Priorities 

This kind of social comparison can distort a child’s priorities. 

  • They may start to believe that value comes from appearance and price tags, rather than from personal effort or ability. 
  • They might pressure their parents to buy expensive items, believing it is the only way to fit in. 
  • Some may lose focus on their studies, viewing their learning tools as status symbols instead of for their intended purpose. 

Creating a Strain on Peer Relationships 

When stationery becomes a marker of social standing, friendships can suffer. Children may begin to envy their peers who have more expensive items, or they may be excluded from certain social groups if they cannot match what others have. 

Helping Children Value Substance Over Status 

Parents can guide their children toward a healthier perspective. 

  • Reassure them that the tools they use do not define their intelligence or their character. 
  • Celebrate creativity, neatness, and effort, regardless of whether their stationery is simple or costly. 
  • Encourage pride in using things responsibly, teaching them that respecting their belongings matters more than brand names. 
  • Share family values about humility and contentment to provide a strong counterbalance to outside pressures. 

This approach strengthens a child’s sense of value based on who they are, not on what they own. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on humility and gratitude, and it teaches us to reject any sense of pride that is based on worldly possessions. While the topic of expensive stationery might seem trivial, it can become a source of social comparison that fosters arrogance in some children and insecurity in others. 

A Quranic Warning Against Boasting 

The Quran reminds us that our possessions are temporary gifts from Allah and should never become a source of pride or sadness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hadeed (57), Verse 23: 

(You are informed of this) so that you may not have any regrets over what you have been deprived of; and not celebrate (gloatingly) with what has been given to you; and Allah (Almighty) does not love those who are self-deluded or boastful. 

This verse teaches us to maintain a balanced and humble perspective regarding worldly things. 

The Prophetic View on Where True Wealth Lies 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the greatest form of wealth is not something that can be bought, but is an inner quality. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2373, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Richness is not having many possessions, but richness is being content with the soul.’ 

This hadith shows that contentment of the soul is what truly defines a person’s worth, not the ownership of expensive items. 

By showing children that their real value lies in their character, effort, and gratitude to Allah, parents can protect them from the pressure of materialism. This nurtures resilience and self-respect, ensuring they grow to see themselves as honoured for their faith and sincerity, not for the price of their stationery. 

Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey

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