Parenting Perspective 

When a child becomes aware that their school fees have not been paid on time, it can cause them to feel a deep sense of embarrassment. This is especially true if fee reminders are given out publicly. They may feel singled out from their peers and start to fear being judged by teachers or classmates. This emotional burden can lead them to withdraw, avoid participating in class, or carry a silent sense of shame. 

The Emotional Stress of Embarrassment 

The school environment is a child’s primary social world. Feeling publicly exposed for a financial issue can be acutely humiliating and can damage their sense of belonging among their peers. 

The Fear of Disruption to Their Education 

Children may begin to worry that they will be stopped from attending classes, sitting exams, or taking part in school activities. Even if these outcomes are unlikely, the uncertainty alone can cause significant anxiety. For many children, their education is tied to their hopes for the future, and fee delays can make them feel insecure about those opportunities. 

The Damage to a Child’s Self-Worth 

Repeated difficulties with school fees can cause a child to see themselves as disadvantaged compared to their classmates. This can affect their confidence, creating a sense of inadequacy that spills over into their friendships. Some children may even feel guilty, wrongly assuming their presence at school is a burden on their parents. 

The Long-Term Consequences 

This kind of stress can have lasting effects. 

• A Distrust in Stability: A child may grow up fearing financial insecurity, always anxious about losing access to important opportunities. 

• Social Withdrawal: The embarrassment can limit their willingness to engage openly and confidently with their peers. 

• Resentment or Guilt: They may either resent their circumstances or feel a lasting sense of guilt towards their parents. 

How to Support a Child Through Fee Delays 

Parents can help to mitigate this stress with a reassuring and proactive approach. 

• Reassure your child that delays are temporary and are not a reflection of their worth. 

• Communicate with teachers discreetly to find a solution and avoid any public embarrassment for your child. 

• Encourage your child to stay focused on their learning, not on circumstances that are outside of their control. 

• Reinforce a sense of love, stability, and gratitude at home so that your child feels supported. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that seeking knowledge is an act of worship and that provision is ultimately from Allah. While parents have a responsibility to meet their obligations, financial hardship is a test. This situation can be an opportunity to teach children about reliance on Allah (tawakkul) and the importance of maintaining one’s dignity through patience. 

A Quranic Reminder on Divine Provision 

The Quran reminds us that the provision for every living thing is guaranteed by Allah, which can bring immense peace during times of financial uncertainty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 60: 

‘And how many creatures are there (on the Earth), that do not cultivate (the means) of their nourishment; and it is Allah (Almighty) that nourishes them and for yourselves; and He (Allah Almighty) is the All Hearing and Omniscient.‘ 

This verse reassures families that sustenance and opportunity are always under Allah’s care. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Financial Responsibility 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasised the importance of fulfilling financial obligations in a timely manner to avoid causing distress to others. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2443, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Give the worker his wages before his sweat dries.’ 

This hadith underscores the dignity that comes from fulfilling our responsibilities, teaching parents the value of this principle. 

By grounding children in the belief that Allah provides and that education is a noble pursuit, parents can turn fee delays into lessons of patience and resilience. Children can learn that their worth is not defined by money, but by their effort and faith, and by the blessings that Allah places in their path.