How do we plan a script for ‘I’m not into that’ that does not make them a target? 

Parenting Perspective 

Saying ‘I am not into that’ in front of peers can feel like stepping onto thin ice. Your child may worry about being mocked, left out, or labelled as ‘boring’. Your job is to give them a short, safe script, the right tone and body language, and a rehearsal routine so that refusing becomes a dignified, not a dramatic, act. Start by acknowledging their fear: ‘I know it can be scary to stand apart. Choosing what is right can feel lonely at first, but it builds real confidence over time.’ 

Simple, Non-Escalating Scripts 

The key to a successful refusal is to keep it brief. Long explanations can invite pushback and argument. You can offer your child a few options and let them choose the one that feels most natural to them. 

• The Neutral Refusal: A calm and short, ‘No thanks. I am not into that.’ 

• The Personal Boundary: With no explanation needed, ‘I am not comfortable with that.’ 

• Deflect and Change the Subject: ‘Nah. Hey, did you see the game last night?’ 

• Offer an Alternative: ‘I do not want to do that. Does anyone want to do something else instead?’ 

Body Language and Delivery 

How your child says the words is just as important as the words themselves. 

• They should stand or sit tall, with their shoulders relaxed. 

• Keep their hands visible and unclenched. 

• Maintain calm eye contact for a moment, then look away. 

• Use a neutral facial expression, not an apologetic one. 

This non-defensive stance reduces the chance of the situation escalating and signals a quiet confidence. 

Safe Next Steps If Pressure Continues 

• Say the script again, a little more firmly this time. 

• Walk away from the situation to regroup. 

• If they are followed or ridiculed, they should seek out an adult or move to a more public place. 

• Debrief with you at home afterwards. 

By rehearsing these lines with brief role-plays at home, the words will begin to sound natural. Remember to praise their effort and emotional bravery, not their perfection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Helping a child to refuse wrongdoing in a way that protects themselves and others is a form of spiritual training in honour, humility, and courage. Islam teaches that restraint, gentleness, and wise speech are all signs of moral strength. 

Speak with Gentle Firmness 

The Quran shows us that the truth is best delivered with mercy and a calm demeanour. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you; so, then pardon them, and ask for their forgiveness (from Allah Almighty); and consult them in all matters (of public administration); then when you have decided (on any matter), then put your reliance upon Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) loves those who are totally reliant on Him.’ 

When your child refuses to do wrong politely and without aggression, they are living the prophetic balance of firmness and gentleness. 

Choose Speech That Protects 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ train the heart to weigh our words before we speak them. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6136, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent.’ 

This hadith teaches that sometimes silence or a brief, kind refusal can be stronger than a long, defensive argument. Speaking little, but speaking well, protects their dignity and prevents a situation from escalating. 

Conclude by reminding your child that refusing what is wrong is not a rejection of people, but a protection of their own values and self-respect. Each calm ‘I am not into that’, when practised with mercy and steadiness, is a small act of worship. It trains the heart to prefer what is pleasing to Allah over the fleeting favour of the crowd. Encourage them to pair their script with a quiet dua afterwards, asking for courage and wisdom. Over time, these small choices will accumulate into a character that attracts true friends and earns a lasting inner peace.