How do parents manage resentment when one child feels ‘punished’ by stricter screen limits than their sibling? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is common for siblings of different ages to have different screen time rules. A younger child may require stricter limits for developmental reasons, while an older sibling might earn more freedom through maturity. This difference, however, can easily be perceived as ‘unfair’ by the younger child, leading to feelings of being punished. Parents can navigate this resentment by explaining the reasons clearly, balancing the rules with compassion, and making sure each child feels individually respected. 

Explain Age-Appropriate Rules Clearly 

Instead of resorting to ‘Because I said so’, calmly explain that screen time rules evolve as children grow. You could say: ‘Your brother has more time because he is older and has different responsibilities. As you grow, your limits will change too.’ This reframes the limits as a natural part of growing up, not a punishment. 

Emphasise That Privileges Come with Responsibility 

Connect screen time freedom directly to maturity and responsibility. You can point out: ‘Your sister is allowed more time online because she also finishes her homework independently and helps around the house. When you show the same level of responsibility, you will earn more freedom too.’ This approach shifts the focus from punishment to earned trust. 

Create Special Alternatives 

Balance stricter screen limits by offering other positive privileges. This could include special one-on-one time with a parent, choosing the family’s next outing, or having extra time for a favourite non-screen activity. This reassures the younger child that they are not being deprived but are valued in their own unique way. 

Stay Consistent and Calm 

It is important to avoid bending the rules when faced with complaints or tantrums, as children need consistency to understand and accept boundaries. At the same time, it is crucial to validate their feelings. You can say: ‘I understand this feels unfair to you right now, but these rules are for your benefit, not to punish you.’ 

By combining empathy with firmness, parents can help turn a child’s resentment into understanding, guiding them to see protective limits as a form of care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on fairness, but fairness does not always mean identical treatment. Rather, it means giving each person what is most appropriate for their needs and circumstances. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfal (8), Verses 60: 

‘And prepare against them whatever you are able of power…’ 

While this verse speaks of community preparedness, the underlying principle is that provisions and responsibilities should match one’s capacity. In a family context, this teaches us that rules for children should also be tailored to their individual abilities and developmental stage. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’ 

This command reminds us that fairness is essential. However, justice is not always about giving equal shares; it is about providing each child with what is right for their stage of growth and overall well-being. 

By sharing this wisdom, parents can explain that different limits are a form of tailored care. This helps children understand that what feels like a restriction today is in fact an act of protection, designed to prepare them for greater trust and freedom in the years to come.