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How do I track progress or patterns in my child’s tantrums?

Parenting Perspective

Understanding the patterns in your child’s tantrums allows you to respond thoughtfully, rather than just reacting impulsively as a parent. Start by taking short, straightforward notes over the course of a week or two. Pay attention to the timing, surroundings, the events leading up to the tantrum, and how your child bounced back afterward. It is possible to observe that at times of the day, with certain individuals, or during transitions (like ending screen time), there are recurring triggers. Utilise this information to support or gently modify processes prior to the typical flashpoints. Tracking serves to provide clarity rather than assign blame. Your response can be less emotional and more grounded when you recognise a pattern, which also helps parents feel less frustrated. This practice aids in making decisions, like determining if the child needs more rest, clearer boundaries, or a smoother transition. Maintain a neutral tone in your notes. Communicate any significant patterns to those involved in your child’s care.

Spiritual Insight

In Islam, being watchful over one’s own behaviour and that of those under your care is part of the Amanah (trust) of parenting. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verse 6: ‘O you who are Believers, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (of Jahannam) whose fuel is people and stones…’ This verse serves as a reminder of the important responsibilities that come with being a parent, requiring both understanding and planning. Noticing patterns in behaviour is essential to meeting this duty with attention. It is wise to understand a person or group of people in order to serve them effectively. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 893, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care…’ He explained this further with guidance to be aware of and observe the habits of people to guide them wisely. Observing a child’s feelings with care allows you to support them with understanding instead of discipline. This demonstrates excellence in parenting, where even small acts of attention can be considered acts of worship when performed with intention and sincerity.

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