How do I teach that apology is strength, not weakness? 

Parenting Perspective 

Many children resist apologising because they believe it makes them appear weak, particularly if they are concerned about ‘losing face’ in front of siblings or friends. The key is to help shift their perspective from fear to confidence by teaching them that a sincere apology is actually a sign of great courage and maturity.

Defining Courage as Owning Mistakes 

Explain to your child that it is easy to hide from a mistake or blame someone else, but it takes real strength to admit when you are wrong and take steps to fix it. This approach frames an apology as an act of bravery, not defeat. 

Highlighting Real-Life Examples 

Share real-life examples of respected people who admit their mistakes, such as a teacher who corrects themselves or when you offer an apology. You can say, ‘Did you notice how that person said sorry? It makes people respect them more, not less.’ This helps children to understand that apologies build trust and respect. 

Emphasising Apology as a Tool for Repair 

Explain that strong people are those who care enough to protect their relationships. An apology helps to rebuild friendships, strengthen family bonds, and restore respect. It is important to make it clear that avoiding an apology often leaves a relationship weaker, not stronger. 

Praising Humility as a Sign of Strength 

When your child does manage to apologise, frame it as a significant achievement. You could say, ‘That was very brave of you. You showed true strength by caring about your friend’s feelings.’ Over time, they will learn to associate apologising with empowerment, not loss. 

By consistently reframing an apology as an act of courage, you help your child to see it as an essential part of their personal growth, resilience, and emotional strength. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, humility and apology are considered marks of true strength. A believer gains honour not through pride, but by admitting their mistakes and seeking reconciliation. This is one of the ways that Allah Almighty raises the status of His servants. 

Quranic Guidance on True Nobility 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘…Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

This verse reminds us that true nobility and honour in the sight of God come from righteousness and humility, not from worldly pride. 

Prophetic Wisdom on the Honour in Forgiveness 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 602, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Charity does not decrease wealth, forgiveness does not diminish honour, and Allah increases the servant in honour when he forgives.’ 

This hadith teaches that forgiveness and humility do not diminish a person’s dignity; rather, they increase it, both in the sight of Allah Almighty and among people. 

By linking the act of apology to the virtue of humility, which earns honour with Allah Almighty, you show your child that strength is measured by sincerity and courage, not by stubbornness. They learn that a sincere apology is not a loss, but a victory for their relationships and their faith.