How do I teach taking turns speaking so quiet voices are heard? 

Parenting Perspective 

In many families, the loudest or most assertive voice tends to dominate conversations, leaving quieter children feeling unheard. Teaching children to take turns when speaking is not just about instilling good manners; it is about demonstrating that every person’s voice has value. By consistently slowing down conversations and creating space for quieter children, you cultivate respect, patience, and listening skills that will serve them throughout their lives. 

Use a Visual Cue for Turns 

Introduce a simple tool like a spoon, a soft toy, or a decorative stone to signal whose turn it is to speak. Explain the rule clearly: ‘Only the person holding the talking stone is allowed to speak. When they have finished, they will pass it to the next person.’ This simple visual aid makes the concept of turn-taking tangible and prevents children from having to compete for attention. 

Practise During Calm Moments 

Begin practising this skill in a relaxed setting, such as at the dinner table or during storytime, before expecting it to work during a heated discussion. Take short turns of one or two sentences, then pass the object. Praise your children for waiting and listening: ‘I really liked how you let your brother finish his thought before you spoke.’ 

Establish a Simple Family Rule 

Create a rule that is short and memorable: ‘One person speaks, everyone else listens.’ You could add a gentle extension to this: ‘Quiet voices get extra space.’ Consider posting this on the fridge or another visible place as a consistent reminder. 

Child A: (Loudly) ‘I want to go first!’ 

Parent: ‘Remember our family rule. It is one person at a time. Your sister has the talking card right now.’ 

Child B: (Softly) ‘I would like to play outside.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for waiting so patiently. We all heard you. Now you can pass the card on.’ 

Model and Encourage Active Listening 

Model the habit of pausing and reflecting on what you have heard from your children: ‘So, you said you want to build with Lego before dinner. Have I understood that correctly?’ This demonstrates to children that when they wait their turn, their words will be genuinely valued, not just tolerated. 

Teach Cues to Protect Quiet Voices 

Teach your children simple phrases they can use to protect conversational space for others. For example, they could learn to say, ‘I could not hear you properly. Please could you say that again?’ or, ‘Let us pause for a moment so we can all hear what she has to say.’ These short cues train them to notice when quieter voices are being overlooked. 

Keep the Practice Playful 

Turn-taking can be practised through fun games. Try collaborative storytelling, where each person adds one sentence to a story before passing the turn. This helps turn-taking feel like a form of teamwork rather than a strict discipline. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic guidance places great emphasis on fairness, respect, and ensuring that each person is given their right to be heard. Teaching children to take turns and listen, especially to quieter voices, is a reflection of this deep ethic of justice and mercy. 

Upholding Justice in Daily Conversations 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 135: 

‘O you who are believers, remain upright in upholding justice, bearing witness (to such actions) for the sake of Allah (Almighty); even if it goes against your own interest, or that of your parents, or your close relatives…’ 

This verse reminds us that fairness must guide our actions in all situations. Ensuring that a quiet child’s voice is heard is a small but meaningful form of justice within the family, where fairness means balancing the conversational space so that no one is overshadowed. 

Honouring Each Person’s Right to Be Heard 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2443, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Give the worker his wages before his sweat dries.’ 

Although this hadith is about paying wages, it teaches a wider principle: every person has rights that must be honoured promptly and fairly. In a conversation, one of those rights is to be heard in turn. Respecting even the quietest child’s words is a way of honouring their rights. By connecting the practice of turn-taking to these teachings, children learn that it is not just about politeness, but is part of living faithfully.