How do I teach siblings that being the role model matters too? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children rarely grasp the immense influence they have on their siblings. While quick to copy each other, they do not often see themselves as setting an example. Your role as a parent is to gently make them aware of this power, framing their position as a role model not as a burden, but as an honour. 

Help Them See Their Influence 

Make their impact visible by pointing out moments of positive imitation as they happen. 

Parent: ‘Did you notice how your little brother started putting his shoes away right after he watched you do it? He learns how to be responsible from you.’ 

These small observations help children connect their actions to their sibling’s behaviour, making their influence tangible. 

Turn Role-Modelling into Pride 

Frame the responsibility of being a role model in a way that inspires pride and importance. 

Parent: ‘Your sister really looks up to you. When you share kindly with her, she learns what kindness looks like. You are shaping her character with your good actions.’ 

When children see their role as a position of trust and honour, they are more likely to rise to the occasion. 

Praise Role-Model Behaviour 

Be quick to catch and praise them when they set a good example. Acknowledge both the action itself and its positive influence on others. 

Parent: ‘That was wonderful how you helped your brother with his homework without being asked. You are teaching him how to be a helpful person. I am so proud of you.’ 

This reinforces the message that leading by example is a highly valued quality in your family. 

Teach Accountability for Wrong Influence 

When a negative behaviour is copied, it is important to address it gently, without shaming, by reminding the child of their influence. 

Parent: ‘Your brother repeated that unkind word because he heard it from you. He learns from everything you do. Let us choose words that help each other, not hurt.’ 

This approach maintains a high standard of behaviour while encouraging a sense of responsibility for their impact on others. By consistently reinforcing these ideas, children learn that being a good role model is an integral part of growing up, nurturing both leadership and empathy. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the concept of influencing others for good or ill is taken very seriously. Every person leaves an impact, and we are accountable for the example we set. Teaching children to be mindful of their influence on their siblings is an early and essential lesson in Islamic character. 

The best individuals are those who actively guide others to goodness through their own righteous words and deeds. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Fussilat (41), Verse 33: 

‘And who is the best in speech than the one who invites (people) towards Allah (Almighty), and undertakes virtuous actions, and then says: “Indeed, I have become one of the Muslims”.‘ 

This verse teaches that a person’s greatest value lies in combining good actions with guidance. For siblings, this means their deeds can become a quiet invitation, inspiring their brothers and sisters towards what is right. 

When we set a good example that others follow, we earn a continuous reward for their good deeds. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1017, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever starts a good practice and is followed in it will have its reward and the reward of those who act upon it’ 

This is a powerful concept to teach children: every time their sibling copies a good habit they started, they are also earning blessings from Allah. When children grow up conscious that their actions shape others, they develop a sense of dignity and spiritual responsibility. This not only strengthens family bonds but also nurtures their identity as young Muslims who lead with goodness.