Parenting Perspective 

Choosing to step back from a disagreement instead of responding with anger demonstrates emotional growth. However, this skill requires instruction, practice, and encouragement. Many children, particularly those who are highly emotional or sensitive, feel the need to protect themselves immediately when challenged. They may not realise that walking away is not a sign of weakness, but rather a display of wisdom. 

Begin by helping your child notice the physical signs that tension is building: 

• Rapid heartbeat 

• Clenched fists 

• Raised voice 

Instruct them to use a simple calming action such as taking a deep breath or counting to five as a pause for reflection before stepping away from the situation. 

Practising Calm Responses 

• Role-play scenarios to build skills for tense moments 

• Ask, ‘What can you do to stay calm and protect your peace?’ 

• Teach calming phrases like, ‘I need a break’ or ‘I will talk when I am calm’ 

• Acknowledge and praise respectful disengagement, even if imperfect 

Over time, this builds emotional strength and more thoughtful interpersonal skills. Your child will learn that true confidence lies in protecting their peace rather than proving their point. 

Spiritual Insight 

The noble Quran consistently advocates restraint and graceful conduct when provoked. 

Allah Almighty states in Surah Al A’raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach, and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance. ‘

This verse teaches that patience and grace are not forms of avoidance, but high moral ground. When children internalise this, they are more likely to act on it with sincerity and dignity. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4782, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ modelled this behaviour often. He chose to withdraw or remain silent to avoid escalating conflict, showing that compassion can speak louder than retaliation. He advised: 

If any of you becomes angry and is standing, let him sit down. If the anger goes away, good; otherwise, lie down. 

This Hadith combines spiritual insight with practical advice. Teach your child that stepping back can be both self-protective and pleasing to Allah Almighty. A brief Dua such as: 

‘‘O Allah, give me the strength to walk away with calmness.’ ‘

can further reinforce this habit. In time, children come to view emotional restraint as a sign of honour, not suppression.