Parenting Perspective 

Teaching a child how to forgive after receiving an apology is one of the most important lessons for building healthy, lasting relationships. Many children, even after hearing the words ‘I am sorry’, continue to hold on to their hurt because they feel the words alone are not enough. Your role as a parent is to help them see that forgiveness does not mean the hurtful event never happened, but that they are choosing to let go of their anger for the sake of peace and kindness. 

Defining Forgiveness as Letting Go 

Explain forgiveness to your child in simple terms by saying, ‘When you forgive someone, it means you are choosing not to carry the hurt around in your heart anymore.’ This helps them to understand that forgiveness is primarily about freeing themselves, not about excusing the other person’s behaviour. 

Modelling Forgiveness in Daily Life 

Demonstrate forgiveness through your own actions. If your child, or another family member, does something wrong and offers a sincere apology, respond with warmth and say, ‘I forgive you.’ By doing this, you show them what the act of forgiveness looks and feels like in practice. 

Encouraging a Habit of Forgiveness 

When siblings have a disagreement and one apologises, gently guide the other to respond with positive words like, ‘I forgive you,’ or ‘It is okay, let us move on.’ Over time, these small, consistent practices help to make forgiveness a natural and normal part of their communication. 

Combining Forgiveness with Healthy Boundaries 

It is also important to remind your child that forgiving someone does not mean they have to let that person continue to hurt them. Teach them how to forgive while also kindly standing up for themselves. This helps to ensure that their capacity for forgiveness remains a healthy and strong part of their character. 

By teaching forgiveness in this balanced way, your child learns that it is a gift they give to themselves for their own peace, as well as an act of kindness that heals relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Forgiveness is a noble characteristic that is deeply rooted in the Islamic tradition. Just as Allah Almighty forgives us when we repent to Him, we are strongly encouraged to forgive others when they seek our pardon. Helping your child to connect the act of forgiveness to their faith will inspire them to practise it with greater sincerity. 

Quranic Guidance on the Virtue of Forgiveness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach, and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral) actions, and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance.’ 

This verse reminds us that forgiveness is a divine command from Allah, a way to rise above feelings of anger, and a means of living a life of goodness. 

Prophetic Wisdom on the Honour in Forgiveness 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives except that Allah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises him in status.’ 

This hadith teaches us that forgiving others after an apology is not an act of losing, but one of gaining honour and drawing closer to Allah Almighty. 

By sharing these teachings with your child, you show them that forgiving is not only about being kind to others but also about becoming stronger in their faith and more beloved to Allah Almighty. They learn that just as they hope for Allah’s forgiveness for their own mistakes, they should be willing to grant it to others as well.