Parenting Perspective 

Children often view forgiveness as something they do exclusively for the other person, to make that person feel better. What they may not realise is that forgiveness is just as much a gift to themselves, as it frees their own heart from the burden of carrying pain, anger, or grudges. Helping them to see forgiveness as an act of self-care makes it much easier for them to choose it willingly. 

Frame Forgiveness as Lightening Their Own Burden 

Explain to your child, ‘When you forgive someone, it is like putting down a heavy backpack that you have been carrying around. The other person feels better, of course, but most importantly, you feel lighter.’ Simple analogies like this can help children to connect the act of forgiveness to their own sense of peace. 

Explain How Forgiveness Brings Relief from Anger 

You can also explain, ‘If anger stays in your heart for too long, it can make you feel tired and upset all the time. Forgiveness is what clears that feeling out so that you can feel calm again.’ This reframes forgiveness as a source of emotional relief. 

Connect the Lesson to Their Own Experiences 

If your child has forgiven a sibling or a friend in the past, gently remind them of how it felt afterwards. You could say, ‘Do you remember how much happier and lighter you felt after you forgave them? That good feeling was peace growing inside your heart.’ Linking the lesson to their own real experiences makes it far more meaningful. 

Model Forgiveness as an Act of Self-Care 

When you forgive someone, make a point of telling your child, ‘I chose to forgive because I do not want my own heart to stay heavy with anger.’ When children see that forgiveness is not only about others but also about maintaining one’s own inner peace, the lesson becomes much more powerful. 

By teaching your child that forgiveness benefits them first and foremost, you help to nurture their emotional maturity and encourage them to forgive more sincerely and willingly. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the act of forgiveness purifies the heart and brings a deep sense of peace to the believer. When we forgive others, we are not only showing them kindness but also protecting ourselves from the spiritual burden of anger and resentment. 

Quranic Guidance on the Power of Forgiveness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Fussilat (41), Verse 34: 

‘And the good actions cannot be equivalent to the mistaken action; (therefore) repel (your mistaken action) with that which is a good action; so, when (you discover) that there is enmity between you and them, (your patience and resilience shall transform them) as if he was a devoted friend.’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of forgiveness has the power to transform relationships and bring peace, not only between people but also within our own hearts. 

Prophetic Wisdom on the Rewards of Forgiveness 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2029, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Charity does not decrease wealth. Forgiveness does not diminish honour. And no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises him in status.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the act of forgiveness never harms the one who gives it; it only brings them greater peace, honour, and closeness to Allah Almighty. 

By connecting forgiveness to both emotional relief and divine reward, you show your child that forgiving is a gift they give to themselves. They learn that letting go of anger brings them calmer hearts, stronger relationships, and countless blessings from Allah Almighty.