How do I talk to my child about feeling misunderstood by others? 

Parenting Perspective 

Reassure Them Their Feelings Are Real 

Many neurodiverse children feel deeply misunderstood by people who do not see their internal struggles. They may hear ‘Why are you so sensitive?’ or ‘Stop overreacting!’ and start to believe that something is wrong with them. This can lead to sadness, anger, or withdrawing from others. The first step is to reassure your child that being misunderstood does not mean they are doing something wrong. Use calm words: ‘Some people do not see what you feel inside, but that does not mean your feelings are not real.’ 

Listen Carefully and Practice Responses 

Listen carefully when your child tells you about moments they felt judged or left out. Praise their honesty: ‘Thank you for telling me. That must have felt very heavy.’ Talk through simple ways they can explain themselves if they feel safe to do so: ‘Loud noises feel too big for me,’ or, ‘I need a break when it is too busy.’ Remind them that they do not have to explain everything; sometimes, it is enough to know that you understand. You can practise what they can say to themselves in these moments: ‘I am not wrong; my feelings matter.’ Praise every small act of courage when they share what is in their heart. Over time, your steady reassurance will help your child to carry these misunderstandings with less shame and more quiet confidence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that Allah Almighty knows every hidden truth, even when people misunderstand us. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 16: 

‘And indeed, We have created mankind, and so We have full knowledge of all the (thoughts) he murmurs within himself; and We (Allah Almighty) are more closer to him than his jugular vein.‘

Share this Ayah with your child to remind them that Allah Almighty sees every feeling and every struggle they face. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3372, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Dua is worship. ‘

Encourage your child to make a gentle Dua when they feel unseen by others: ‘Ya Allah, You know my heart. Help me feel strong inside.’ This small act helps them to hold on to the hope that they are never alone; every misunderstood moment is seen, heard, and held by Allah Almighty. By giving your child this soft truth, you help them to grow into someone who trusts that their feelings are valid, even when the world does not understand.